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Joel tells Bristol he loves her as a goodbye.
He couldn’t remember the last time the air was this cold outside the diner. It didn’t help that seeing her there with barely a jacket on made him shiver. It wasn’t just the weather, it was the feeling. The pit of his stomach felt like it could just drop out at any moment. He didn’t do anything wrong, yet he did everything wrong. She put out her cigarette, and threw it away. He breathed in deep, and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Joel wanted to say something. He wanted to say everything. He wanted her to know that he liked her. He liked spending time with her, and that he was completely wrong in how he judged her right off the bat. Nothing came out though. Nothing ever did. He was so used to walking on egg shells around Chelsea that he wasn’t used to being able to say whatever he wanted. Bristol wasn’t fragile. She could take it. She’d rather hear it.
He twirled the ring on his finger before speaking. “We...I mean, this isn’t good. We can’t do this anymore.” he told her, not making eye contact once. He felt like he was telling his mistress that his wife had caught him cheating. Truthfully it wasn’t anywhere near that. All they did was talk, and eat french fries together. That’s why it was so scary. “I...I know enough about you,” he said, realizing how shitty it was. In the beginning, he really did. He knew her type too well. He didn’t want to know anymore, but now that he did he couldn’t help it. They were soul mates for god’s sake. It had to count for something.
“Chelsea’s about seven months along now so-...it’s just, you know?” he said, looking at her face finally. She wore the same expression she did one of the first times they’d met. When he’d written her off as a junkie. She was unamused, but it made him feel embarrassed. “It’s...just not a good idea.” Joel couldn’t understand why she was so quiet. He was ready for her to call complete bullshit on him. That’s what he’d prefer. Instead, they stood here both just accepting defeat. They weren’t even going to try. “I...I really love you. I do. I’m sorry for all of this. I just...I can’t do it.” He didn’t look twice before turning around, and speedily making his way to his car. He didn’t want to give himself any opportunity to change his mind. God knows he would have.
