ex con reader, not proofread
࣪ ִֶָ☾.⭒
everytime i close my optics i feel that toiling in my gut, the churning of nerves that always makes me sick. im restless, shifting after every attempt.
bumblebee is already recharing, his arms still warm and secure around me. i dare not wake him.
i try to find comfort in the pulsing of his spark, steady beneath my audial, but it's no use.
everything reminds me of my past.
i bury myself deeper into his chassis, my servos lightly gripping the seams of his armor, causing a small grunt to leave his throat.
im sorry.
i let my optics fall closed, trying to slip into recharge once again. every second i spend in the darkness, the fear builds.
my tanks churn with nerves, making my vents short and uneven. i feel stupid, pathetic.
who in their right mind is afraid of recharge?
it's a simple act, one most don't think twice about, they just do it. sure, some may have trouble falling or staying in it, but no one's ever afraid of it. except me, it seems.
it's embarrassing. normally my lover's presence calms my systems enough to not have any issues, but for reason tonight is different. i just cant get rid of the feeling.
i try again, holding it longer than the others, but a sharp spike of anxiety has me onlining my optics yet again. it's tedious, trying over and over again with hardly any success.
i can feel myself becoming more and more tired with each second that passes. maybe i should just wait until my body reaches a low enough power that it just pushes me into recharge automatically. but that could take hours.
i give it one more try, willing myself to be calm as the darkness slowly consumes my processor, it's insistant hands gripping at everything it can find, dragging me down with it. i force myself to go along.
goodnight bumblebee, i'll see you in the morning.
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i hate being scared of going to sleep this shit sucks, have a low quality fic as a treat <3