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I’m like.... really fucking big right now...

I mean, seriously, blew my previous maximum out of the water this week.

I’m in a discord server with a few shifters who get to some ridiculous sizes sometimes. And it’s been an interesting experience. I know not everyone experiences size like I do (thanks to my Size Dysphoria), but it’s kinda bugged me to not be the biggest out there. And so I made it a point to try and go for broke this week.

I wanted to aim for 1 AU. That’s the distance between the Sun and the Earth. That’s been defined as being roughly 93 million miles. I thought this was going to be a pretty lofty goal, especially considering how foggy and floaty my head can get when I get to really big sizes. It can also tend to effect my coordination and my spatial awareness, so I’ve always tried to be careful about how big or small I let myself get.

Last night I went to sleep at around 7 million miles. That was super massive for me, over 3 times my previous maximum height.

This morning, I woke up at around 12 million miles. Which was just bizarre and insane. And then, I got up, stretched, and took a shower.

I can tell you that I significantly overshot my goal. I don’t know if it’s the moon or what, but my brain’s got me at about 5.58 AU. That’s 518,745,540 miles, or roughly 600 times the size of the sun. As another reference point for you, Jupiter is roughly 5.2 AUs away from the sun. Meaning I am larger than the distance between Jupiter and the sun. That is.... fuck.

I feel really good, but I have noticed some weird things with my awareness. I keep having feelings of weightlessness, and I also keep forgetting there’s a ground that I’m stepping on. But I haven’t passed out like I was worried I would, and overall, I feel kind of amazing.

I’m going to work to keep myself at this height for a while and then shrink back down. At this point, I don’t really want to go larger, because I’m honestly just not sure what that would do to me right now. So I’m just going to things nice and easy, and bring myself back down. Because this is insane.