unusual october: day 3
“too much coffee”
Mari was dying. Not actually, but she felt like she was. When she had woken up this morning, she felt like she had been hit by a bus. She was in a horrible mood, the akuma had struck just as she was getting into school, and believe it or not Chat’s incessant puns were not helping her headache go away.
The ringing in her ears got louder. She put her hands over her ears and sat down slowly. In the middle of the street. During an akuma attack.
Chat yelled from across the street. He was getting tossed around by the massive octopus that was making its way through Paris. It held a couple cars, a tree, a signed photo of Claude François, and Chat Noir. “My Lady,” he shouted. “It’s not really the time to meditate! Your center of focus should be on getting rid of this akuma!!!”
Ladybug grimaced. “Not now, chaton!” The sound of her own voice hurt to hear.
Chat frowned. Even in the arms of an octopus he knew his Lady would never act like this. Struggling, he reached for his baton and managed to push the button that expanded it. It poked through the octopus’s arm and the creature dropped him without hesitation. He hit the ground running and sprinted towards Ladybug.
“What are you doing?” He grabbed her by the collar and pushed her into a back ally. The creature trampled past them and kept going. They could afford a little break at this point.
Mari rolled over on the ground, and Chat set her up against a wall. He looked at her, trying to figure out what was wrong.
“Stop talking,” Ladybug mumbled.
That caught Chat’s attention. “I didn’t say anything Buggaboo. Now tell me, how are you feeling?”
She groaned and tried to lie back down. Chat grabbed her by the shoulders and held her in place. “Oh no you don’t.”
“I feel like absolute shit. I didn’t sleep a wink last night, I have this massive headache, and I think I keep hearing things.”
Chat pulled out his cell phone and started typing her syndromes into his search bar. He felt her pulse; her heart was going a mile a minute. Way too elevated, especially since she had been sitting at rest for several minutes.
“Well did you eat anything different for dinner last night?” He asked, trying to gauge whether or not she felt bad because of what she had eaten.
“I didn’t eat dinner.”
His ears perked up. “Did you eat anything all day?”
Ladybug shook her head slowly. “I drank one hundred cups of coffee.”
Chat gasped. “My Lady, you cannot be drinking that much coffee.”
“I know I just needed to stay awake for some homework I had to get done.”
“Okay that’s bullshit. You’re addicted. We need to get you off of this.”
Mari nodded painfully. How did you stop coffee addiction anyways?
“Just stay here and let me take care of this akuma. When I capture the butterfly I’ll come back for you to purify it. But after that we are having a serious talk about this problem!”
Ladybug was so confused. Why was Chat Noir acting like a dad. He used a dad voice and a dad concern, but he didn’t have a dad bod so she was pretty confused.
About fifteen minutes to three days later (Mari wasn’t exactly sure), Chat returned. He handed her a bottle of water. “Chug this. You’re dehydrated.”
Mari did as he said while he began to lecture her. “Too much coffee is bad,” he said. “It’ll increase your risk of osteoporosis and damange your liver.” Blah, blah, blah, Mari didn’t really care. What she cared about was the next time she’d get her hands on a cup.