#existential fears

[mhmilch-blog]

A Perfect Storm

[aspyforthethrone]

I don’t know if it is the reduced med dose which I’m finally feeling, but today is not a good day. I feel awful. The depression is heavy and financial troubles are stirring up panic and anxiety again. Existential fears are haunting me big time. I feel like I can’t breathe again. I wish that I would finally be successful in finding a job!! I calculated all the costs I’m gonna have this month. And with the additional costs for the medical issues and my transition process this month, I have about 70€ for food left for the whole month. Which is less than half that is usually calculated in my already tight food budget. And not counted in are the costs for T yet. If I might be so lucky to finally get the clearance for it this month, I might end up not being able to afford it after all. I’m fucking screwed 😕

[cabinetteofcuriosities]

I've always viewed the world as an extremely violent and unforgiving place. Where our short time on here is measured by the company we catch, rather than deserve and the small accomplishments you make after more than half of your life in a program that doesn't teach you how to do much of anything on your own. Here I am, nearly graduated and I don't know a thing. The complexities and unknowns of the dark still scare me and I'm not so sure if that's even just a metaphor.

My sweet fellow, the world is an extremely violent and unforgiving place. One peek at the news and my stomach turns upside down. But where does all of this come from? The nature? No. It’s humanity. Generally considered, our planet is such a beautiful place, it offers and gives us so much, yet we - humanity - destroy it. And we don’t only destroy our planet, we destroy each other. But it’s about how you see the world and how you long to change it. Graduating is a wonderful, yet so scaring part, especially if you don’t have a single clue what the future will bring to you. I felt the same existential fears you feel after I graduated. I did not have a plan for my future, did not feel mature enough to live on my own. Basically, I already saw myself living on the street. But, lovely friend, I can tell you, there are still beautiful souls out there who will support you, who will help you and who will give you chances. You will grow with the experiences you will make and you will learn. You will learn so much and you will gain so much strength. I know you can do this. There is so much potential in yourself, that is yet for you to discover. You’re also going to handle difficulties by the gift of kindness. Whatever you do, be the best version of yourself, because I know the world is a scary place, but as Mahatma Gandhi once said: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.“

Let’s sit, face to face, get comfy, pass warm smiles and cheesy grins while sipping our current favourite drinks and have a little chat about the importance of life. » The Explanation Post

My ask box is waiting for you to pass by.See you here.

[captain-ine-love]

existential fears...

I feel it.

[optimisticpragmaticorange-blog]

On existential fears

I've just been on a video that tackles the question "Why do we get sad yet happy when we're in love?" Which is a question that didn't really cross my mind until today. So yeah, the video states that we fear depending on something, because of the question, what happens when that thing is gone? So let me give my two cents on the matter:

We fear love because every one of us fears dependence.  We don't want to depend on something or someone that can be gone in just a flick of the moment. It's so unsure. It's so random. It's so scary. We walk on the safe and easy side of life, we forget to have fun. Love is not a question of what we're willing to give. It's a question of what you're willing to lose. Everything in this life, yes, even your love, will end. We just have to embrace the fact that we might still be alive when it happens. We have to embrace the fact that we're all existential for the proving of existence, and we would never be more than those hours we spend.

You have two actions to deal with love:  either hold on to it, or  let it go. If you let it go, you let everything go. The happiness. The contentment, the phases of euphoria, everything. You let all those things go along with being hurt. That's just the way it is. Or you can hold on to it, knowing it would hurt one or both parties in the end, but you get to experience life in a whole new different level.

In the end, love is just an object. We can either let it go and do what it wants to do, or hold on to it, knowing that when it goes, it takes parts of us with it. The question is not how much you're willing to give, but rather, how much you're willing to lose. And once you find that person you're willing to lose everything to, then do it. You might lose everything in the end, but does the end justify the means?