#existentialism quote

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Because every time you see them happy, you remember how sad they’re going to be. And it breaks your heart. Because what’s the point in them being happy now if they’re going to be sad later. The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later.

11th Doctor, Doctor Who

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be. Each of us has the power to give life meaning, to make our time and our bodies and our words into instruments of love and hope.

Tom Head

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

I will have nothing to do with your immortality; we are miserable enough in this life, without the absurdity of speculating upon another.

Lord Byron

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Once upon a time, I dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was myself. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.

Zhuang Zhou

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

Mitch Hedberg

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Who am I? Not the body, because it is decaying; not the mind, because the brain will decay with the body; not the personality, nor the emotions, for these also will vanish with death.

Ramana Maharshi

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Jean-Paul Sartre

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Second, although it could not have been an easy decision, I hope you -- and I want you to -- feel that it is what it is: a wise, mature decision that will open more professional doors for you than slogging away applying to and pursuing a PhD program somewhere -- all without any guarantee of a job. There is a crisis in the professorial ranks of higher education (underemployment, lack of morale, indifferent or unprepared students, exploitive administrations, etc.) and these trends will only become worse, creating a morass for educators coming into the field in the near future. Oh, how I envy you, and wish I had made a similarly wise decision many years ago. If I had I would be living somewhere that made me happy and doing something occupationally that made me even happier. The world is now your oyster; choices are many. Enjoy the freedom of a future with multiple paths ahead of you.

Professor

This is an atypical quote for me to put here, as it is a personal quote from an email I very much value and ran across again as I was cleaning out my emails. 

I made the decision on May 15, 2015, to end my academic career. This was a portion of the response from a professor I will not credit for their own privacy.

Why do I share this on a thanatophobia blog?

Many of us are scared of making changes, because we get comfortable, because it has risks, because of so many things. When I made this decision to leave academia, it was a huge risk. I had put so much time into this, and I had no real skills outside of academia. I was fortunate that I wasn’t at risk of being homeless, as I was living with a parent who understood the situation. Nonetheless, it was a risk for my own financial well-being, my social life, my emotional health, and so many things I had wrapped up in the identity of being a Future Professor. 

We’re six years from that point now. 

I’m much happier than I was at that time. It took about a year to get to the “better” part, though, and then about a year and a half to start actually feeling secure and happy. There were lots of bad jobs, stress, depression, and frustrations during that time of figuring things out. 

I’m not saying take unnecessary risks -- I was safe, I had a parent I was living with, and I wasn’t going to starve -- but what I am saying is if you’ve found yourself unhappy, uncertain, or angry, take the risks if you can. Change who you are. Change who you thought you were going to be. You can do this regardless of age, or how deep into something you are.

We only get this one life. Don’t forget that. We ONLY get this one life.

It should be as happy as possible. If you’re on a path that isn’t for you, change it. It’s okay to admit a mistake, to admit something isn’t right for you, rather than end up like this professor who told me he wished he had made the change himself. 

Don’t waste your happiness because of your pride.