Every time I see a post about a family member that doesn’t necessarily get what being trans or queer is but loves their child/grandchild/nibling/whatever and makes an effort, even in ways that are unorthodox or technically incorrect but emotionally perfect, I have to resist the urge to grab the plastic box with my dead mother’s ashes in it and hold it up to the screen and say, do you see this? It’s not so fucking hard! I gave you every opportunity to not suck, to connect with peers who are having this or similar experiences, and made so much space for you to try!
And then instead I take a moment to recenter and reflect on the ways I could be better at hearing the people I love and doing my best to see, listen to, and love them the way they need me to.