first things first.
CHANYEOL’S FIRST SOLO ALBUM „BLACK OUT” IS OUT. IT IS FINALLY OUT. FUCKING HELL, CAN YOU BELIEVE WE’VE WAITED FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S HERE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND I AM SO PROUD OF CHANYEOL I HOPE WE GET TO SEE AND HEAR SO MUCH MORE FROM HIM IN THE FUTURE.
ok. now that that’s out of my system, let’s talk about the mv for black out. in depth. hell yeah.
(on a side note, i really wanted to make a post like this for a long time. like, a long post where i put down thoughts in a kind of structured way, so yey i am excited, let’s go.)
first, i want to point out that personally, i appreciate a lot that the song has no gendered language (as far as i know. i am not fluent in korean tho, i am basing this on the english lyrics supplied with the video!), and in tune with that i will also use gender neutral language in this little analysis here. the only case i will use gendered language is when referring to chanyeol, who i will treat like an actor portraying the protagonist in this video. so when i say “chanyeol” i mean the guy in the video and not the person park chanyeol – just for clarification. ok. now.
overall, to me, the mv feels a lot like a movie, or parts of a movie. it has amazing cinematography – the city at night, the bus ride, the scenes at the window of the apartment, the fish tank, the short scenes relating to boxing – that portrays the feelings around a breakup very beautifully. in the video, i see many symbols that represent specific situations and emotions and that’s what i want to break down here a little bit.
the cassette tape is probably the most obvious of the symbols. the cassette he literally clings to, i think, represents the past relationship itself. is the very first scene he is sitting on a bus full of happy people, people that seem to be in a romantic relationship, that have fun and are laughing – he is alone and surrounded by love. he simply sits there, unmoving between people that are eagerly interacting with each other. he is still while everything else is moving on. but he has the cassette which he doesn’t even listen to (notice how we never see him wearing the headphones he carries around his neck!).
he is not listening to the tape, just keeping it – the relationship might already be over, he is just holding on to the memories. he doesn’t want to think about them (or else he would listen to the tape) but also doesn’t want to lose and let go (that’s why he's keeping it). and that’s why he is very distressed when he loses the tape, why he holds on to it so hard. but in the end, it rips apart and that causes him so much hurt. it was so precious to him and tried to keep it so hard. it’s really painful and heart-breaking to watch.
the bus ride itself is very interesting because it starts out being a space chanyeol is… well, not exactly comfortable in. but it’s a place where he rests, where he sits and lets himself being carried along, unmoving object at a place where everything is moving a lot. he is, mentally, still very entangled in the relationship. that’s why he’s still on top of that bus, alone with all the other people that are so happy and loved. he hasn’t moved on yet. and he doesn’t seem to want to.
until the moment we see the cassette on the ground. then we see him suddenly realizing that he lost it, like snapping out of a trance. he gets up, wants to get it but it falls out of his reach, the tape comes loose, and he tries to hold on to it so much. the moving bus suddenly becomes a trap, it moves too fast and the tape rips in the end. he can’t go back to the relationship and the memories anymore because it has broken and it’s his fault in a way. maybe he stayed to long on the bus. maybe he realized it fell too late. maybe he acted too hastily. maybe he should have kept the cassette safe in a pocket so he wouldn’t have lost it in the first place.
the scenes of him running aimlessly through the cityscape could just be mindless wandering to keep himself moving, but i like to believe that he is not so aimless in his running. i think he is looking for the lost tape. i think that in all the stillness he wants while he still is holding on to his memories, he feels utter restlessness after losing them. everything moves so fast, everything is loud (there even is a fucking plane), there are lights everywhere – he is afraid he won’t find the tape again in the vastness of the city. and maybe he doesn’t.
for me, the scenes with blond chanyeol happen after the bus scenes. he is post-breakup chanyeol (because what do you do after a breakup? right, radically change your hair xD). that’s the chanyeol we see in the apartment with the fishtank and the chanyeol we see boxing (well, kinda. we don’t see too much of the actual boxing, but I think that will change once we get the mv for back again xD). it’s also the chanyeol who is looking at himself in a broken mirror.
mirrors and reflections are symbolically used to reveal the true self of a person, in chanyeol’s case that’s someone who feels very broken inside.
something that really stood out to me was a shot of the fishtank where they filmed the tv in the background of the apartment through the water.
first and foremost, the shot through the water gives the whole scene a very whimsical feel, like looking into a dream world that chanyeol is escaping to from the harsh reality of his broken heart and the end of this relationship that he treasured so much. he is literally pushing his head into that world, into the water, where he can’t breathe.
that’s also a very desperate act of trying to feel alive, or like… anything at all. the same reason he resorts to a painful sport like boxing. the physical pain fills the emptiness that remains and overshadows the emotional numbness, fills the lack of emotion with pain he can control, instead of letting himself feel the emotional pain he can’t control. (and on an important note: both actions are forms of self-harm and that’s a very unhealthy coping mechanism, just… don’t do it)
back to the fish tank. fish can symbolize change and adaptability, as fishes are animals that can survive even in challenging conditions. and that fits very well with the story of the mv as well. chanyeol still needs to figure out how to adapt and how to survive his life right now, but he will figure it out – just listen to the rest of the album, and especially back again! as this is the other song we’ll have an mv too, and one that picks up on the boxing element that was introduced a bit, i treat it like what happens after the black out mv / the breakup.
back again is a crazy song!! it’s very lively, full of sounds and little details, of versatile voice use and a lot of energy! it’s him bouncing back again (see what I did there-), it’s when he is feeling better again and is confident to move forward again. and maybe he’s a bit more enthusiastic than he is actually healed and fails. but he has hope and takes moving on and coming back to life step by step.
musically, black out feels more like being torn apart from the inside. there is a lot of vulnerability in his voice while the beat is very restless when all we see chanyeol do is wanting to hold on for a moment but the beat and the melody, the song itself really, pull him along.
i also noticed to the colour schemes in the video. mainly we see a dark blue being used. in some moments, very prominently the scene where chanyeol looks at the goldfish in the tank, a warm orange is used as contrast.
it feels very comfortable and, well, warming within all the cold blues and greens, so that sort of underlines my interpretation of the fishtank scene(s). i also noted that in scenes from the apartment we see pink lights, usually contrasting a greenish blue light. neither of those are very warm lights and add more to the general vibe and atmosphere of the scenes, i think. one could argue though that pink could symbolize love, which is a pretty obvious although not happy theme of the story.
this mv has so much pain and regret and yearning and so so so much hurt. in all the soft spots. it’s dark and gloomy that make it feel almost brutally real. i like to draw a parallel to tomorrow here (and not only because the two mvs use similar a similar colour sceme, blue and orange), which is very still and very in the moment. it’s also dark and yearning but is gives these feelings room and holds a glimmer of hope. black out is not that calm. its darkness is hurrying the protagonist along, who just wants a moment to hold on and breath. but there is no room for feeling those feelings in black out, but there is no way to outrun the pain. or the hole in your heart that’s left when you lost something you loved a lot.
[watch the mv here]
[listen to his album, including back again, here]
