expendable.
@idaein backstage blues.
kiwon is a study in lethargy, because waiting around for the encore stage when member schedules had required them to film nearly first means hours upon hours spent hunched in the waiting room over his phone. at fansigns he says he spends his time backstage reading, or doing yoga, or something equally life-affirming, but the god’s honest truth is that more often than not he’s just mindlessly scrolling clickbait articles and adding things to virtual shopping carts. sometimes he takes pictures, or stupid videos. plays with camera settings or filters or lenses or angles. but mostly, it’s things like buzzfeed.
because while gun might have to go off for some interview or daein for some acting shoot, jinsung for whatever of the thousand opportunities call out to his multi-talented soul, kiwon just....doesn’t do much. fans talk about it. how he’s not really, you know, doing anything. how he seems to be wasted. that’s the narrative right now. that kjh doesn’t know what to do with him, that they’re wasting talent. but kiwon knows the truth.
and the truth is he works best in a group. he’s not meant to stand alone. in any other group he’d be a lead vocal/lead dance, at best. he’s only got the vocal role because the songs don’t require that much of them, and what they do require matches the tone of his voice impeccably, these days, because gun or someone is writing it specifically with him in mind. maybe that’s the upside of a heavily invested producer. its another reason to hate gun though, for making himself so unhateable. the little urchin.
today daein is similarly un-contracted, for the moment, so he’s slouching down on the couch beside the other man. tall and broad and boyishly handsome, it’s always been something of a personal trauma for kiwon that daein is so unflinchingly disinterested in him (on a more than friendly level) but the truth is crossing a boundary like that wouldn’t do him any good. daein needs someone to love, violently, and kiwon would be so swept up in it he’d dash against the rocks like a boat on the shore. “what’re you doing?” he asks, nosy as ever, all but ramming his face into an angle that will allow him to peruse the boy’s phone screen. “is it rian noona? you’re really in over your head.” he tuts slightly, chuckling a little bit as he crosses one ankle over the other, heels propped on the waiting room table. “you guys are filming for that netflix thing right? how’s it been going?” he glances askance at him before adding, “unless you don’t want to talk about it.” he pats his hand lightly at the other’s leg, withdraws it. he knows more than many and with less judgement, that daein feels more than a stoic expression shows.