#expressillness

[illscript]

Let Me Tell You About Anxiety

Let me tell you about anxiety

Anxiety is waking up with your heart beating outside your chest for no reason other than the fact that it is. And you kinda have to deal

Anxiety is havin to take meds to stop an attack, meds that make you sleep which makes you anxious bc you’ve missed out on productivity hours

Anxiety is being physically paralyzed by what others consider ‘everyday stresses’ or 'challenges that build character’. They break

Anxiety is not being able to go to campus because the thought of being amidst crowds and crowds of people makes you numb

Anxiety is always having to defend your anxiety – convince others, and yourself, that you’re not lazy, overly sensitive or weak

Anxiety is irrational. It is excessive. It is burdens meant for a village, carried on your own shoulders, always

Anxiety is panic attacks that leave you temporarily blind. Sometimes you vomit. Sometimes your body heats up. Sometimes you can’t feel.

Khutso Khanyisile Modiba (21) describes herself as, the universe in ecstatic motion, writer and orator. Amani Zua - which is to say the living embodiment of peace and light. In that order.

Her “script” on anxiety was originally posted on her blog

https://khanyikmodiba.tumblr.com/post/148821917427/let-me-tell-you-about-anxiety

[ www.khanyikmodiba.tumblr.com ]

[illscript]

Leprosy, one of the oldest recorded diseases in the world, is often associated with biblical stories, which is not surprising considering that it is mentioned a total of sixty-eight times in the holy book. Unfortunately because of this association, the only time that many of us encounter this disease is in the pages of an ancient book and we rest under the assumption that leprosy no longer exists.  

With an uncanny foresight about prevailing attitudes towards leprosy and a need to raise awareness, a French philanthropist and writer Raoul Fallereau initiated the World Leprosy Day in 1954 to raise global awareness and ensure that people understood that it is preventable, treatable a curable.

Sixty-two years later, lack of awareness and ignorance is proving to be the biggest obstacle to eradicating the disease. For many communities around the world, leprosy is still seen as a curse or a punishment for sins (as is sometimes interpreted from the Bible).  This results in people hiding their symptoms and failing to seek treatment in fear of being cast out or disowned.

In South Africa, stigma is not as rife as in other parts of the world according to Peter Laubscher, the director of Leprosy Mission in Southern Africa. There are a few occurrences of people being cast out and disowned but for the most part people with leprosy are accepted and well integrated. This may also be due to the fact that the disease is rare, as Mr Laubscher explained: “We are winning the battle with leprosy but there is still a way to go.” South Africa has seen a decrease in leprosy cases. The specific challenge within the South African context is that leprosy cases occur in rural and isolated areas far from treatment and healthcare resources.

The preventative treatment for leprosy which has contributed to the decrease of cases is Bacillus Calmette-Guerin (BCG) commonly used as a vaccine for tuberculosis. For those already showcasing symptoms of leprosy, it is easily curable with multi-drug therapy – a combination of rifampicin, clofazimine and dapsone tablets taken for six months to a year. If diagnosed late, leprosy can cause disability.

It is not fully understood how leprosy comes about or is transferred but contrary to popular belief it is not passed through touch. It is believed only consistent contact with nose and mouth droplets (sometimes sneezing and coughing) from someone with untreated leprosy may play a factor in spreading it.

What is known about leprosy is that it is a chronic infectious disease caused by Mycobacterium leprae which affects mainly the skin, peripheral nerves, upper respiratory tract and the eyes. No pain is felt by the patient, therefore burns to the fingers, cuts to the foot, grit in the eye can go unnoticed leading infections that untreated can result in amputation or blindness.

Peter Laubscher encouraged and emphasised that if anyone presents with signs of leprosy, they must come forward before it is too late for treatment to be effective. The treatment is free of charge through the Leprosy Mission.

For  more information about leprosy visit : www.leprosymission.co.za or e-mail the director [email protected] and also check out all the individual stories of patients who are fighting and overcoming the disease in order for it to truly be a phenomenon of ancient biblical times.

Sources:

Leprosy Mission UK (2016, January 28) World Leprosy Day: Eradicating Leprosy Is Not A Pipe Dream. via  www.leprosymission.org.uk

Mr Peter Laubscher: Executive Director of Leprosy Mission South Africa

Image: via  www.womeninthebible.net/1.7.Miriam.htm by Unknown

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[illscript]

Before iLL had a name or a site I did what any self-respecting millennial would do before embarking on an idea - I Googled. I typed in a lot of arbitrary phrases relating to health, illness and the expression thereof and while I was lost down the Google rabbit hole, I came across Brendan Vosika’s Kickstarter page, (the internet really is a beautiful place). 

Brendon Vosika is a Seattle-based artist who specialises in painting, collage work and illustrations. His Kickstarter project that caught my attention is titled “Shake Well Before Use: A Book of Paintings About Asthma” which is a handmade book expressing his experience of living with asthma through water-colour work. I immediately reached out to in the hope that he would agree to be the first to share his narrative with iLL and explain how his work helps to express his lived experience.

Read our conversation below:

Hello Brandon Vosika, firstly thank you for participating and giving us permission to showcase your art and story.

 1. Having first encountered your art pieces, I found the art was simple and genuine. The simplicity of your work is very honest. As a first question, how would you describe yourself and your art?

 You're right! I would describe myself as a person with somewhat simple tastes. I love art, film, music, literature… I'm a painter, illustrator, collage artist. I dabble in a lot. I used to record music and have made several albums also! But that's the past.

Some of my work is indeed simplistic or minimalist but other pieces can be quite chaotic and full. It really depends on what you're looking at. It is all honest though. For the asthma themed art, it was all watercolour on drawings. They were pretty straight forward but the paint was used very effectively.

 2. As iLL we were particularly intrigued by your project “Shake Well Before Use – A Book of Paintings about Asthma” a handmade art book and set of prints for anyone with awareness of asthma. Please tell us what sparked the project and how it came to be?

 Well, I had to go to the ER for my asthma a couple days after Christmas and when I left I started drawing a lot of asthma related stuff. Then about a month later I sort of realized that no one was doing any art or expressive things on the subject of asthma. I was literally goggling it and almost nothing was coming up. Millions of people suffer from asthma so I was surprised. I don't know, I just thought it would be a cool thing to do. To mix painting and art with facts and learning about the disease. I like to make little art books, so I thought why not? I did a limited run of 200 of them and funded the project through Kickstarter. It was a very successful project.

 3. Describe the technicalities behind how you made the handmade art book, as in the methods and art techniques used in your paintings? Do you usually favour this method of producing art and what were the difficulties you may have experienced in making the handbook?

 Painting the initial art was great; I used watercolours on pencil / pen drawings. I used a lot of feel colours and quick drying; I think they came out great. The construction of the books as a whole was extremely time consuming and a ton or work. Hand painting every cover took me forever and it was very tedious. Also I sewed the bindings of the books with a sewing machine which took a lot of time. There were also two pages that were done with stamps that I made… stamping, letting the ink dry… doing it all hundreds of times was a little bit crazy.  Also signing and numbering everything was really tough. With the prints and books I had to sign and number 800 individual items. That was a pain; it made me hate my name. Not to mention 600 of those signatures were VERY tiny.

 4. You mention that you have had asthma for 22 years. Describe how you experience the disease, the pro and cons, any stories?

 It's been 23 or 24 years now, 22 when I made the video for the asthma project. My experience with asthma has been rough. I've been to the ER a few times; I use my inhaler at least a few times every day. I used to be allergic to everything. I don't have as many allergies now but stuff still gets me. Getting sick with a respiratory cough is a big concern. Something that's a pain in the neck to one person could end up sending me to the hospital. Also because I have sports induced asthma, It's really hard for me to get excursive without an asthma attack. The only pros I can see would be that having asthma as a child taught me patience which I implore every day of my life. Unfortunately there are too many cons to list. With medication and health care being as corrupt and expensive as it is in this country, it's difficult for me to get the stuff I know will make my life better.  I remember when I was 8 years old or something I was having an asthma attack and was out of medicine. I didn't want to tell anyone. I was embarrassed. It got really bad and I know I easily could have died. Things like that used to happen a lot to me when I was younger; I was a really shy kid. I think back now like, god, that was terrible.

 5. Beyond the “Shake Well Before Use” project does asthma affect your art in any other ways (artistically or physically)? How does your disease tie in with your art?

 Generally speaking, asthma doesn't tie in with my work. I am an artist with asthma and I did an asthma art project but I'm not like, an "asthma artist" or something. Sometimes I'll draw inhalers or things in a painting, around a person’s head or something but it's not really the theme or anything. Since the project I've done a ton of art but not much that focuses on asthma the way the book did.

 6. Many artists say they use their art and expression as a form of healing. Is that the same for you and if so how?

 I guess you could say that. I used to be very unhappy and painting or recording music would sometimes make me feel better. Maybe that's why I started, just to have an outlet for what I was feeling. But now I think that it's less something I do as a form of healing but more just a way of life. Art is always on my mind. It's mostly what I think about. It's not that it makes me feel better to make art, more that if I don't I mostly feel like shit. At some point it stops being "that thing that makes you feel better", it just becomes you.

 7. Are there any other projects in store? Please let us know where we can find and buy your art.

 Yes! There are always more projects! I'm constantly working on new paintings, zines, and drawings, whatever really… The asthma art book was all handmade by me and very limited but I still have a few of them so you can grab one of the few copies left in my Etsy store for the time being. www.etsy.com/shop/BrandonVosika

 I sell some prints and things on the Etsy store but most of my work is sold in person around Seattle, where I live. I'm going to get some more original work in the Etsy shop though so take a look. I also do commissions and work for others. Send me an email [email protected] and support me!