#exsequor

[crimsoncompendiumvol2]

I crossed the river Fell into the sea Where the nonbelievers Go beyond belief Then I scratched the surface In the mouth of hell Running out of service In the blood I fell

Well I, I just want to see the light And I, I don’t want to lose my sight Well I, I just want to see the light And I need to know what’s worth the fight

[crimsoncompendiumvol2]

Nish thinks he’s the smartest hobgoblin alive, but what kind of idiot doesn’t know that a blank book’s for writing in? Not that it matters. The rest of the swarm laughed so I’m the idiot.

He’s getting worse. At first it was just some dirty looks and spitting, but now he’s starting to threaten and fight me. It’s probably only a matter of time before he starts using his club. But I can’t do anything about it unless I want to make my own life worse.

The shame is the worst part. I guess I don’t mind the labor so much. The hunger is pretty bad too. Almost worse than the food. But being a slave around people who used to respect me—sometimes I think the only reason I can sleep at all is because I’m so tired from working. This is probably what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life. Whatever that is.

—

I don’t know why Nish still hates me so much. I might have been a threat to him when I was a soldier, but he got what he wanted. I don’t even know why he wanted it. We’d already taken the livestock, raided the food, and burnt the whole farm. What were they going to do? Rebuild? Even if they did figure out a way to survive it wasn’t like they were going to come back for us later. I guess I should have just done it. They were going to die anyway. Just something feels wrong about killing something that can’t even fight back. If that makes me weak, then I’m weak.

So now I dig their shit ditches and make fire while Nish and everybody else is out collecting scalps and making money. You’d think that would be enough for him but he has to come back and kick me around.

Last night I swore he was going to kill me. He singled me out from the others and took a few swings. Broke my nose and took a few teeth. It was the worst beating yet even before he got my knife from me and stuck me in the stomach. I don’t know how to describe the look on his face, but I’ve never been scared before then. Not like that.

He walked away and left me with the knife in my belly. Some of the other slaves helped patch me up. If I want to live any longer, I guess I’d better keep it.

—

I was always better at fighting than Nish. I hope they see that now, but they’re probably too busy trying to find me to care. Even a horse fights back if that’s the only thing it can do to stay alive. I’m glad I kept that knife. Nish should’ve gone for my head.

Now I’m free. If I can outrun the swarm, I’m free. I have the biggest bag of gold I’ve ever seen. As soon as I get to Arrowfell I’m buying the fastest horse they have and nobody will ever hear from me again.

But I doubt I’m going to make it. They’re right behind me. Faster than me, too. The villagers that don’t scream and throw rocks at me lock themselves in. Can’t say I’d do any different if I were them. I’ve been scaring off their horses so the Krot can’t use them to catch up, but every night they look more and more like food. No time for that, though. I can barely afford the time it takes to sleep.

—

They were right on top of me when I finally made it to Arrowfell. I ran right in even though I knew the guards were probably just going to shoot me. At least that wouldn’t have given the swarm the satisfaction. They let me in just fine, though, and even killed enough Krot to make them fall back.

I don’t know this flowery language they speak here, but they found another hobgoblin to help us talk. I told them as much as they needed to know and they agreed to let me stay. They even put one of their men on guard duty for me. He looks about as seasoned as a fawn, but at least he might yell if a Krot goes for my back. As if they were that smart.

Rented a room for the next few nights so I can get my strength up and figure out where to go from here. I don’t think the swarm will try much harder than they already have to get me, but a few days can’t hurt. This inn is pretty nice, anyway. Who am I kidding? I might as well be a chieftain or a captain or something.

Maybe later I’ll catch a boat down to the sea and disappear.