#exstwxst

[liliana-von-k]

There is no relief quite like the relief you feel when you finally find your Anastasia Dip Brow Pomade after it bounced off the dresser and was lost amongst your belongings on the floor for several days.

AT LAST I CAN LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN

[dreamingstarkly]

Hey! Longtime follower, first time messager :) I actually just went through a huge job transition myself - out of a field i didn't want to be in into one I did - so I kinda know where you're coming from re: your last post. I could've stayed at my old job and gotten a pay increase, free health insurance, and more (like a new car since I'd be able to afford it), but I ended up going with the new job because I thought being poor would eat my soul slower than working somewhere I didn't want to be :/

“(I’m back lol) it was a really agonizing decision to make but I’m glad I chose what I did. Even though I make less now I have way more opportunity to grow and learn and dominate in my preferred field. It’s so fucking hard to make these choices though bc a job that offers you real Money is NOTHING to sneeze at. And it’s not as simple as like, “follow your heart” or w/e because money is actually really important. Idk. I feel like this isn’t helpful - sorry! At least - I totally know how you feel.”

Publishing b/c I think a lot of other people could use this conversation, too. 

Thank you so much for this message. Yeah, I totally agree with you on the soul-eating bit. So far I have enough financial resources to eat/clothe/generally support myself with enough to save a little bit and pay my student loans on time. So I am not in desperate financial need. My parents support my decision to turn down the offer, as does my partner who allows me to live with him for free as I put aside some savings. I’ll paying my share for rent in the next few months, but I’ll still be able to afford it.

So yeah. I am also going into a “new” field, which will also be less lucrative than my initial one. I think, too, that it’s important to look for jobs that give us the broadest opportunities at this age. Being a glorified customer service rep? Eh….not so much.

I was just talking with another friend of mine who is about to finish up massage school, and was turned down for a different job that would have paid more than a newly graduated masseuse. She was bummed, but you know what she told me? That she is finally learning to value her work, her passion, and how to finally ask for help from her support system as she becomes the best fucking massage therapist the world has ever seen (trust me, I was a practice subject). 

Because yeah, money is a real thing. It is anxiety-producing, powerful, life-changing, often problematic entity. There is a reason why money is not to be trifled with in literally any situation. It’s not inherently bad, it is necessary. Death and taxes, yo. 

But I think there’s a lot to be said for refusing to buy into this idea that you have to work yourself ragged and soullessly in order to be worth something. I think there is also a lot to be said about building a support network and asking for help as you work hard at things that do fulfill you, but aren’t as lucrative in the short-term. We need to stop this endless train of radical self-reliance, it is deadly.

I don’t turn my nose up at hard work. I work hard at things that matter to me, and this job offer just shows me how much I can be valued. It’s a good ego stroke, I will take that to propel me to hone my craft and take me where I want to go. 

But I also will not turn my nose up at asking for help, financially or otherwise, when hard work isn’t enough in this messed-up world and its messed-up priorities. 

So, yeah. I’m lucky in that I got this offer, but I will cash in that luck in order to turn my hard work towards something I can strive for in the long run. 

[1dasfudge-blog]

ninjanialll said: we call it autumn too it just kinda depends lol

Idk how I didn’t know this, I guess I just haven’t picked up on it, but thank you!

eestlin said: I say autum whilst the leaves are on the trees changing colors and fall when the trees become bare but it’s not quite winter yet.

You are too good for this world Jenn! Your page last year pretty much single handedly staved off my onset of autumn/winter blues

smut-reading-mum said: I prefer the word autumn… Fall sounds too sad. 🍁🍁

🍁🍁 🍁🍁 🍁🍁 🍁🍁 🍁🍁 🍁🍁 🍁🍁 🍁🍁 🍁🍁 🍁🍁 🍁🍁  :P

exstwxst said: To THIS American up here in the bitter northeast the word “autumn” sounds super pretentious and annoying, so I just say fall. Autumn is for poems. Fall is for the barren hellscape of September-November. exstwxst said: Ok I realize I’m super rude and terrible I just want to acknowledge that publicly I do KNOW how much of a butthead I am 

1. You’re just secretly British. 2. Also your funny :) and not a butthead... 3. You’re living in some sort of inverse-hell that freezes with all the might of lucifer and you can call it whatever you like. Please also consider this my formal notice that I will be sending you poetry throughout the season ;-) 

[1dasfudge-blog]

exstwxst said: I was thinking of you today!! I’m so glad you’re back <3

xwritten-on-my-stonex said:Missed you! Glad to see you back :) hope things are well!

OMG BRI !! What made you think of it?? I missed you both, I hope you’re both okay xx

[this-onegoes]

exstwxst hey pretty lady, whatchu doin later ;)

[redcloud]

once you get this you have to say 5 things you like about yourself publicly then send this to your 10 favorite followers. (non-negotiable) (okay it's negotiable if you want) :)

I like my beard. It's soft. It is strokable. It has an interesting little grey patch in the middle.

I like my legs. I'm not in the best shape, but my legs still have to carry the extra pounds around, so they're actually pretty muscular.

I like that I'm open-minded, but I don't accept things blindly. I'll hear you out. If your logic makes sense, you can change my mind. If not, then I'll keep my point of view. Or, I might agree with you, but not agree with your reasons why.

I like that I see connections between things: analogies, puns, double-meanings. ambiguous statements that are true for multiple interpretations.... It's all mind-play to me.

I like that i have a very loud laugh. People have found me at conferences in a room full of a couple of hundred people just by hearing me laugh. "I knew you were here because I heard you from the other side of the room." :)

[1dasfudge-blog]

exstwxst said: !!!!! PERF

back at you sistuh! 

[1dasfudge-blog]

exstwxst said: :(((((

I'm an indoor cat, I don't like change :((