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It’s time to colonize the stars and put this world to bed. I hear we’ll build on Mars soon, so I’m headed to Neptune instead.
“You can’t colonize a gas planet. Its surface is shifting.” No, but I can pass right through And then just keep on drifting.
This is your life on repeat
Youth stretches itself out to what looks like infinity-
Running around the fields of lowers and feeling the dirt hug my toes not understanding that the days of play I would get to experience were not only not going to last forever but they would barely last till I was out of grade school.
Life is the best representation of time we have-
Time is a fickle mistress and when I say time I mean life, because life is the longest amount of time I'll ever get to understand and maybe time was a nicer woman back in the day.
Everything is terrifying and I am very excited-
But right now I'm getting shot out of a catapult into my future hurtling along at light speed seeing things that I can't even begin to actually understand because if I knew half of what was going on I might force eject.
Everything is a miracle that no one can care enough about-
Or I might lose myself in the miasma of human misery and joy and beauty and centuries of humanity that stack on top of each other to make the landscape we are now digging through like so much garbage.
Because it's the most important question-
That is the human curse I think that everything we've ever made is a miracle because we are a miracle because the fact that we can exist on a blue marble hurtling through a black table cloth which quite literally is not inhabitable by any sentient form of life we could even begin to understand is a miracle but the only thing we can think is "I wonder how I'm gonna get through this?"
There once was a Crooked Man, who had a crooked smile, and if you lived his life. he'll send you through a trial.
He lives for your torment, makes it full of strife, and he won't be content... Until you take your life.
A year.
It's been exactly a year since our hearts have parted ways.
The day after Christmas, at 2 in the morning.
When I opened my big mouth to plead for you not to depart
You were planning on holding on
But my move, which ended up being one of the most regrettable decisions of my entire life
Broke us apart forever
And the chaos I brewed up afterwards...
Eradicated any hope there was left for our hearts to be put back together
In this year of separation, we have learned many things.
We have both learned so much about ourselves, and each other.
We have both found ourselves, and found who we truly are.
We have become stronger by rebuilding out of rubble.
In this year of separation, we have conquered many trials.
January 2012. The month of complete and utter depression and broken-heartedness.
The month I directed affection towards a past interest who had fallen in love with me.
February 2012. The month of what was supposed to be our one-year anniversary on the 14th.
The month of me being desperate to win your heart back, the month that the chaos started to erupt.
March 2012. The month I rebounded off of someone who only wanted me for my body.
The month when, after I broke up with him, he decided to spread rumors that I had actually given my body to him.
The month I started losing friends. The month you told me to stay away from him, because he was no good, but I didn't listen...and you turned out to be right.
April 2012. The month when everything started going down. When I had lost a best friend, your best friend.
The month I asked you to kiss me one last time -- and you did -- for closure.
May 2012. The month I found yet another partner, and one whom you approved of.
The month, at the end of it, where I channeled all my infatuation for you into anger and bitterness...and cut you off for quite a while.
June 2012. The month you had fallen in love with your best friend, and made yourselves official...the day after my birthday.
The month I let you back in.
July 2012. The month I was getting irritated with him. The month he dumped me, and I felt nothing but free.
The month we had put aside all our difference and decided to start over.
The month I gained your girlfriend's friendship back.
The month I started to become happy.
August 2012. The month when all I could feel was happiness.
The month that our friendship shined so bright, everyone could see it.
The month I discovered my Obsessive Love and Attachment Disorders.
The month you told me that you'd do everything you could to help me conquer my disorders.
September 2012. The month when one stupid question asked by me set you off.
The month that, because of that question, drove you to eradicate our friendship.
The month I, once again, lost the friendship of your girlfriend.
October 2012. The month that we were nothing but acquaintances, strangers with history.
The month that our only reasons for speaking were strictly business matters.
The month that I gained back the friendship again.
The month that, towards the end, we went back to normal, to being friends.
November 2012. The month our friendship was stronger than ever. The month that we proved that nothing could come in between us.
The month when everything in my life seemed perfect again.
December 2012. The month of the downfall. The month I managed to screw up so badly, that she kicked me out of her life forever.
The month you decided to keep our friendship despite her wishes, because you cared about me so much.
The month that, because we had to lay low, tensions started to rise and things started to fall apart.
The month where today I question where we stand.
The month where today, I chose to make a big decision.
I chose to let you go for awhile, if that's what you really wanted.
I offered you the door out, because if remaining friends at the worst time possible is hurting you, then this decision was made in order to stop hurting you.
My New Years' Resolution this year is to protect you.
From myself.
I'll do whatever it takes to bring us completely back to normal.
And for now, time has to be spent with us yet again being strangers with history.
Goodbye for now, my friend.
My best friend.
My brother.
I love you.
