i’ve seen several posts made by several different people oin my dash about how death is not a big scary thing and we shouldn’t reject it or be afraid of it etc, and while i understand in part where they come from, i don’t want to see it. i don’t want to be made to feel as if the way i grieve for my mother is wrong, that me feeling pain and anger over her death every day is wrong, that me hating that she died so young, that she died a slow and painful death, is me being unwise/infantile/brainwashed by society into hating death. be as zen about death as you like, but i reserve my right to hate the idea of it, and to fear it because not every death is an old person peacefully dying in their bed surrounded by loved ones. my mom suffered so much that she told me, not long before the end, that she prayed her heart would just stop beatin while she was asleep. i won’t accept the idea that i should be zen about it. sometimes death is undignified, painful, torturous, traumatic, lonely. these are the things that can be avoided, even though death itself can’t. so how about we do all we can to minimize the number of people who suffer such deaths. how about we make that a priority before mumbling about how ‘death is just a natural part of life, there’s no reason to fear it’. i agree that we should talk about death and not treat it as some taboo topic, but is dismissing the feelings of people who do see it as a ‘big scary thing’ really the best way to go about it?
