#eyebrowsalt

[eyebrowpunk]

started playing Rad Dad Redemption 2's story again, once again struck by how, for all the game's many virtues, its Morality System is the most busted bullcrap one I've ever seen in a game

[eyebrowpunk]

in the end, most of what I hate about Elden Ring and its difficulty can be summed up thusly;

most combat in Soulsborne is about two things: spacing, and timing. knowing where to be at any given moment in a fight, and what actions to take and when. those take some learning, but once you’ve got them down, they stay with you, and partially carry forward into the other games as well. once you know what an enemy can do, and what you should do in response, all that’s left is to execute it well enough that the boss’ hp bar runs out before yours does. know when to roll, where to be when you see the windup for the AoE, when to back off and heal, and when to close the distance and get a few hits in. once you’ve learned the rules, remember to follow them and that should get you through most of the game.

however, Elden Ring regularly breaks these rules.

enemies are hyper aggressive, and can often either start another attack string almost immediately after concluding the last, or straight up opt to continue the combo based on what you’re doing. enemies have ranged attacks that come out instantly, or can close a gap in a fraction of a second if they so choose, so no amount of space you put between you and them can guarantee even a second’s reprieve. a bunch of enemies have what I deride as ‘beyblade’ attacks, where they just turn their entire model into a hitbox and throw themselves at you with pinpoint tracking for several seconds, rendering rolling almost futile and (presumably, I haven’t played with shields much) tearing through stamina when blocked.

and that’s shit!!! it feels like absolute shit when the game actively resists your attempts to master it. when I played Bloodborne I got destroyed many, many times by Vicar Amelia because, as I later realised, I was still trying to play the game the way I played Dark Souls. when I played Bloodborne the way Bloodborne intended, I had a great time, and now Vicar Amelia is a boss I can tackle with ease.

on the other hand, it doesn’t matter how “good” I get at Elden Ring, there’s nothing I can do if I run in to punish Margit after avoiding a seemingly complete attack string, and he decides to counter with a sudden lightning fast conjured dagger combo. I have no answer for when I try to back off and heal, and crucible knight responds by crossing the arena and undoing all the hp I just restored in less time than it takes for me to recover from my drink. I bashed my head against Malenia for hours straight and even after all that whenever I dodged even one hit of her Waterfowl Dance it felt more like a fluke than me actually learning to deal with her.

so much of what you’re up against in this game feels like it straight up comes from a different game, with different rules, and for all the amazing and fun and sometimes outright broken new tools this game throws at you, you’re still not quite equipped to deal with it on a very fundamental level.

[eyebrowpunk]

I take issue with a lot of Planet Zoo's creative directions, such as its utterly unintuitive construction mechanics and the game's borderline unhealthy fixation with micromanagement, but credit where it's due the customer behaviour feels authentic at least

[eyebrowpunk]

thinking again about how Mass Effect 1 managed to make planetside exploration feel so much more interesting and atmospheric than any of the later games in the series, even Andromeda, which was the only game besides ME1 to even really attempt free-roaming planet exploration

[eyebrowpunk]

I really wish Planet Zoo was an easier game to play

the graphics are great and pretty much anything to do with the animals is good, but I feel it added so much needless busywork and the building and object placement mechanics are clownshoes, when Zoo Tycoon 2 executed the same functions perfectly well nearly 20 damn years ago.

it just means that by the time I’ve set up everything I need to get my zoo functional I just don’t feel like playing anymore

[eyebrowpunk]

Crucible Knight really says “you think you get to just DO things? in my fucking boss arena??”

[eyebrowpunk]

honestly fucking laughing at the “shabriri grapes” sidequest, it’s like Miyazaki looked at this comic and decided to fuck around and make a whole questline out of it

[eyebrowpunk]

the Radahn fight was over surprisingly quickly. maybe I’m too good at this game. maybe it’s because I summoned like a dozen guys to help me fight him. maybe it’s because I was nearly level 100. I think I was right the first time.