Nov 22, 2016
xiii.
god i can already see us crashing and burning and i’m still in the passenger seat
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Argentina
seen from Malaysia
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
xiii.
god i can already see us crashing and burning and i’m still in the passenger seat
xii.
you should consider a roadtrip sometime where nobody argues over the music and everybody is just silent and watching as little to no cars drive by because we punched in only the backroads into your gps because we’re both secretly afraid of driving.
v.
when i'm drinking from you i feel your heartbeat flutter in my mouth
iv.
i don't cry over you because i don't feel you don't deserve it you say you can't trust me but then again neither can i. i'm glad i left you behind to wallow in the dust of that ghost town and depend on others just like always but then again when i look back, stupidly, it's like peering at a mirror the way you crawl around hopelessly, pitifully in the soft soil that dirties the dress you hate to wear more than anything i want you to feel the heave of my chest in the chill of the ground as you claw, desperately, like a fool i want you to feel my trembling fingers in the heat of the magma that pools out from the earth's crust laced around your neck, consuming your body whole, despite your stubborn cries. i cannot hold back now. the sky has never been more overbearing.
iii.
we're lovers but i'm not sure if what we have is love or desperation now please help me bottle the blood and let's never speak of this again please love hurry hurry hurry hurry please
ii.
2016 is the year where i start believing in God. when i was younger i used to turn my nose up at religion, because i was different and believed that a world of faith did not resonate in me but i think i was just being rebellious at the time not in a negative way, just ignorant my tongue tingles the same way as when i eat radishes, when i smoke cigarettes late at night, just one every couple of weeks, usually but lately it's been more frequent, as i find myself alone and awake when everyone else has gone to sleep thinking about this god and why They keep me up at night so often
maybe They are lonely too.
i.
i cling to old interests to try to reclaim a childhood that was stolen from me i'm planning on purchasing a gamecube. but booting up animal crossing's population growing isn't going to put out the fire that has left me charred and barren i'm going to hit the power button & remember that lavender room the heavy tv & vcr. the purple console the the the the the the tangled wires & how i would catch red dragonflies, snapper fish, and pretend that this was a world that i was worth living in & that my mother loved me
but forests eventually recover from the wild fires that quickly conquer them & replace scalded wood with fresh viridian sprouts so i will simply hit the power button and boot up the game because recovery may not be an option now but i have to lead by example somehow
?.
i came from roses & lavender, lemon & melon, ash & incense from the church. i ended up at peaches & smoke, oils & grapefruit, sea salt & kelp from the shoreline.