L.et's O.pen V.arious E.motions
He turned me on. I'm talking about having to go to the bathroom to cool off and get myself together, mid first date. His broad shoulders, bald head, and big eyes? Even his smooth, chocolate skin and anyone that knows me understands my lust of caramel. We ended the date with a kiss, one that electrified my spine... Made me shiver throughout my body. His kisses gave me earthquakes.
After that kiss, our relationship was put on the fast-track. My time alone became FaceTime with him, my "me" became our "we", text messages from pals became video messages from lovers. The intensity of us shone as if we were the midday sun. But, there was always the thought that maybe this guy just wasn't for me.
Little things that he did grew more and more unappetizing. But, the feast that we shared in the bedroom served as blinders to his lackluster personality. Example? I planned a sexy night for us. Went to the local market, picked up fresh veggies, juicy cuts of meat, and exotic Basmati rice. In my overnight bag was a sexy outfit to cook in, and a sexier outfit for the dessert I had prepared for him. He had been looking forward to it all week. When I arrived his crib, his best friend was there. He greeted me with a smile saying, "Oh, I heard you're cooking tonight for M. and I'm starving as hell too!" My heart dropped. I commenced making dinner, but the original plan was thwarted.
Everything really changed when I injured my foot, and he made every excuse to not come visit me. In my heart, I was finished. I held on to a prospect of a relationship that in my heart I knew would never work. I ended up taking the trip to PR on the same weekend of his birthday. We did get into an argument right before I left, but I felt the time away would help us smooth things out. When I returned back to NY, he give me the Slapchop. It was over and he wanted to be "friends". I opted out of the friendship, in the nick of time.
I was hurt, but after the pain came relief. I realized that no matter how many romantic things he did that I wasn't used to, I just didn't like him. He wasn't the yin to my yang, the bench to my batty.
I must thank him, though. I know I'm worth breakfast in bed and sexy dinners. I'm worth foot massages and kisses on my toes. I'm worth being told I'm beautiful, sexy, and being asked "why am I so lucky?" So thank you, M. But, don't let me see you... You'll get smacked silly.