Yes am very upset. Why is this so hard?

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Yes am very upset. Why is this so hard?
Facemurder, don't be mean to Tomato.
Uses of Facemurder:
I went to the fridge, but there was no food
I tried to poop, but I pushed and pushed and nothing came out
I got really thirsty but the fridge is in the kitchen
I tried to hold in a fart, but it slipped my asscheeks and its smelled
How can I piss on myself, when I'm all the way over here?