#fafblog

[ultraleftist]

I'm not actually that funny, I copied all those posts from the sadly-defunct Fafblog.

[dowackado]

Q: Is Iran a threat? A: Oh yes. Even as we speak Iran is potentially starting the beginnings of a very possibly quite almost-real hypothetically nuclear weapons program! Q: Oh no! How many nuclear weapons does Iran already have? A: Counting warheads, ICBMs, mid- and long-range missiles, ABMs, tactical nukes, bunker-busters and submarine-based weaponry, the full nuclear arsenal of Iran at this moment is very rapidly just beginning to quite possibly approach a number just short of one! Q: That makes them almost as deadly as the rogue nation of Whoville or the Islamic Republic of Candyland! A: And they could be just months away from an actual bomb! Q: But they've been just months away from a bomb for years now. A: I know! Which means in terror years, Iran already has a bomb... in your child's precious brain! Q: But that's where she keeps her sugarplum dreams! A: That's why it's up to us to already have being stopped them! Q: What will Iran do with nuclear weapons? A: Terrible things. For a start, it will have them. Q: Oh no! A: And once it has them, it can threaten to use them, if anyone else tries to use them on them. Q: There would be no defense against their self-defense. A: They pose an existential threat to our ability to existentially threaten them.

Our threatiest threat

[dowackado]

Q: What about bombing their cities and burning their children and raping their livestock and feeding their people to thousands of millions of man-eating ants and piling their skulls into a heaping bonfire on the White House lawn while the President and the Cabinet and the Joint Chiefs of Staff dance naked in circles ejaculating wildly into the flesh-filled smoke? Is that on the table? A: It would be irresponsible for this option not to be on the table, given that all other options, as we have said, are on the table. Q: What about leaving Iran alone? Is that on the table? A: No. That is not on the table, because it is not an option.

Always with the tables

[carlsensei]

[agovernmentman]

But if there are several dozen things America loves, they are war, torture, genocide, chattel slavery, apartheid, ethnic cleansing, assassination, poverty, institutionalized bribery, remote-controlled flying death robots and somewhere down the list, between prison labor and lagoons of toxic pig shit, there is almost certainly a special place in our national heart for freedom.

Fafblog!