It is curious, it is almost as if you are stuck on the edge of realisation: you see the issue, but not a way out of it.
The truth is, you need to start with yourself. Take care of your health, both physical and mental, and do what must be done for yourself first. You need to find a certain balance within which you can genuinely state that you are more or less well. That done, it will still need upkeep. So, defend your equilibrium. Defend what you value. It may seem hard at times, but not only you deserve and are capable of it, you will need to ensure your own basic well-being to move forward. It is a little about taking control, a little about seeking opportunities; at times the key is simply in not allowing yourself to be bothered by something or somebody.