#fallinlovewithart

[mydearestspoon]

#Painting #mydearestspoon #fallinlovewithart https://www.instagram.com/p/CMRiF4Ajafs/?igshid=14prpsh619nk3

[frankincenseisnotamonster]

The Romance

EXPECT IT! 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

DEETS

Today is the day we fall in love. 

I like to be in love with what has loved me. I think that is the practical way to be about love. I find a lot of value in loving without expecting things in return, but there is some love that can always be returned!  

The type of loves in my life that are always returned is the love I share with my friends. Thank god for friends! (PRAISE). Another love that I have been unfaithful to, would leave and then return, that always had my back was, art. Art always had love for me, even when I didn’t have love for it. So thats what I’d like to commit myself to loving, and loving some more, my original heat throb, the guitar.  Its such a luscious feeling, super heady and emotional place when you have a crush or are infatuated. I feel like I’ve been infatuated with making are for a long time , and have finally decided to commit more deeply to it these past years. 

So this is a love letter to the one I never gave it to, two loves in one house that have always held me up every time I fell: 

Thank you to theater and story-telling. My original love. Thank you for making me strong, for being consistent in an inconstant world. I tried to run away from you, but you never left my side. Thanks for teaching me to use me voice, and to build my confidence, thanks for teaching me what it means to share, and walk another’s path, to have empathy. You’re still all around me and in my blood, and you have grown with me which hard to do for anyone! You have always been real, and real classy. I’ll love you forever, you’re heart is evergreen. 

And thank you, thank you to my new heart throb, guitar. You are shiny and sexy! I was really resistant to you at first and some days I still am, but the make -ups, make-up for all the bad break ups. I’m still learning so much about you and your history, and all the glorious sounds you can make. Thanks for being there on dark nights when I had trouble understanding and changing my pain into something useful. Thanks for teaching me to be bigger, be louder, you are a better choice and I’ll always love you for that. I’m crazy about you, you make me giddy, you are my dark fantasy, you gave me permission to be silly and have FUN!!! You are the best example of the rewards and great things that can happen in all relationships if we put in the work. 

I hope my three challenges can be commemorative of the years I spent struggling at guitar and to build a solid practice. I’m building my love for guitar, and committing again and again to focusing on my art even attentions can be pulled in so many directions.  I hope I can look back at these battles as a time when I played guitar awkwardly and tried with all my might to change my own narrative to one that felt truly right for me. 

I started playing guitar to create a different story for myself, and invent my own freedom. But the journey of learning to play guitar has been so much bigger for me than I thought it would be. I brought more connection into my life, gave myself more power, healed, healed some broken connections, had fun and found what I needed in my spirit and soul, the music and art of womxn. 

 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Recently I got to do a reading for a book release event and it just blew me away. Dani Burlison an amazing woman and author wrote a book of short stories called, “Some Places Worth Leaving”. I’m like how do you know my life! In it there are so many beautiful stories about revenge, and woman triumphing and the sexual assaulters dying and its great! They are stories of escaping, which feels super relevant not only for me personally, wow, but also for a lot of women in the world who are fighting just to live, for example in Mexico where woman activists are mounting huge artistic and widespread protests against femicide or femicidios. And to me the love I see that is so fierce is in Dani’s stories and its surely with the women in Mexico and across the globe fighting to protect their sisters, their mothers, and their daughters. 

In discussing my own sense of love of art, and the love I have for womxn making art I am fiixated on the words  from Audre Lorde’s collection of essays, “Sister Outsider”. Lorde talking about taking a pain experience and metabolizing it, about making pain not be continued suffering, but that if you take it in, learn something from it or move through it you can change it into something useful. 

This idea to me is a lot like the lemonade metaphor. I want to turn a sour experience into something sweet and meaningful for myself and other women. And I am in love with and inspired by all the women that continue to do this, to turn what was once rotten in to something nourishing, or just showing us that there is a fucking way out.  So here’s to falling in love with delicious art, sexy guitar, here’s to courting the things that put you in right relationship, and to women who help you stay with yourself, and metabolize your pain, may we love them, may we protect them, may we be them. 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

UPDATES

I’m busking? Kind of busking? I’m busking or learning how to busk. To be honest I’m mostly watching my bandmate busk, but hey you have to start somewhere!  

Also have been doing lots of guitar research in terms of history and omg the American history of guitar is cool, and finding women of color of artists who play guitar is a huge joy of mine. Recently found Jackie Venson, through my sister (cuz women are great), and gosh just like the song title, it makes me feel so good. 

Hasta llego! In goddesses we trust :)