@falseearl continue from here
"Aren't you enthusiastic today. Curious, but what brought this on all of a sudden?" Astre stood with his arms folded over his chest. While he knew the blonde to get over excited about things it, was the first time that the former earl had heard something like this be spoken. "It's uncertain what the future will be stepping forward. Anything could happen however, that is I suppose I can agree with you. I'll believe in the future and survive the present. We can do it together!"
Will the future be bright or bleak. He hadn't thought that far ahead. Astre only focused on the now and, doing what he needed to do to push forward.
Enthousiasm who fluctuate during one second, as an unpleasant pout welcomed slowly his features, before dissolving for return inside current brightness he was experencing. Rightfully, he had matter to remaining depressive, though Claude’s absence eventually came to be accepted --- even if remnant of denial remained anchored inside his being, even associated to various guilt and sentiment of responsability for hadn’t been good enough for an demon … where sadly, mentally, his mind had to preparing himself for eventually ended up terrified for an couple of weeks … To himself, he needing motives for carry on living. To himself, he needing an impression of belonging inside his own name, inside his own environment, knowing how difficult everything will be … The past … The past will forever haunt him, staying behind him, clinging over his tiny hopes. Perception of the present, though associated to amusing irony inside current circumstances, had to be overcome … Eventually the future will fulfilled of brightness, where on his case, it would be consequence of all the actions realized in the present. Eventually, in the future, if he believed and motivated himself enough, if he managed to win bet for open Purgatory’s doors, he will be a witch.
It would change nothing of his full support towards Astre Phantomhive. Though mocking amusing teasing was felt towards circumstances irony, he touched something he cannot experience, where he couldn’t be saved, and honestly, didn’t saw the point anymore to get free of his special prison --- ❝ I’m not always depressive~ ❞ He noticed with an childhish voice, as he knew, self-depreciation was fast to appear inside his expression and remembrances were mostly painful. Gratefully, Astre had showing up inside his house when he had slowly overcomed initial despair state he had been, nevertheless, by moments, he remained with low energy and little will to do something, and still, sometimes he was scared about future circumstances he would face. Surviving his present mean surviving Philip Butler --- and that element was enough for making him internally scream. How he was supposed to bring an interest in front of an leader of underground, where he was nothing alike the boy he had been so much impressed with ? How he was supposed to gain whatever access door to the Golden Witch ? ❝ Oh, I have been thinking. ❞ He shrugged. Imagining himself as an discrete influence of the underground … simply that picture inside an long-away future … ❝ Uncertain ? ❞ He repeated amusingly. ❝ Not mine. ❞ He corrected slowly. Considering he should have been dead for quite a while, for sure, he will avoid to pass another time by the case Death … especially where there must be consequences to get his soul being destroyed from inside for months, where his emotional issues had deteriorated as a result … Hades removed that curse, but he had no specific indication about how he was supposed to survive the aftermatch, neither if his soul had been damaged or something. Sadly, it wasn’t enough for perceiving golden butterflies for example. ❝ My future isn’t uncertain … yours might be, but I’m sure I can do something about it. For Phantomhive living an certain future where everything will be fine~ ❞ For one second, he can forget he has still an demon’s deal, and will possibly died --- he wasn’t Alois Trancy enough to anticipated how compromise an deal with the God of the Underground ( besides to have no idea how to talk with him, and no knowing how to access to the Underground itself ) neither to make right now such an large difference … where he could seek to save his life either way. ❝ Though, I need to believe the future will be good for survive the present, and someday, not looking back and sensing all of that had been for nothing~ ❞ He laughed slowly. ❝ We will do it together~ I’m the one supposed to help you anyway, and see your face every day is my present daily gift, illuminating my present~ Am I good company ? ~ ❞
