#fam issues

[datenightfright]

Guys...

I just wanna write about ghosts, monsters, and serial killers. Is that too much to ask for?

[lookingrespectfully]

twitter drafts I’ll never send

[ambergrandma]

well today was an awkward but welcome therapy session :)

[standbipeasant07]

i love my fam but sometimes i just want to STRANGLE them

[ambergrandma]

I know it’s July rn and thxgiving is a long ways away, but I am ricocheting off the choice of whether to stay with my fam or go stay with friends on turkey week

On the one hand, I’ve always celebrated with my fam, and it’s one of my dearest wishes that we could all pls just get tf along. And we may spend it with my grandparents this year bc my grandma is sick + everyone adores my apple pie and if I left, that would lead to several questions amongst them that nobody wants to have to answer. I already know I’d miss my family terribly and I might become depressed if I were to leave them behind.

On the other hand, the same time last year was a Fucking Nightmare bc on top of my cat dying, my mom decided turkey week is the perfect time to announce her desire for a divorce, which led to my dad having a crisis, thxgiving being Strained As Shit, and me actually driving back to school the day immediately after (and sometime later having a mental breakdown). Whenever I even think about November in general now or anything associated with it, my stomach sinks and I feel sick. If I leave, I’d be getting myself away from a surefire paralyzing anxiety situation and spending it with friends who I’ve always wanted to make food for.

My parents are really trying to make the situation better with therapy and being more open and honest with each other, but the pain is still there in my mind. And there’s this malicious, petty piece of me that wants them to hurt if I do decide to head out on the week of.

Am I a bad person for this?

If I leave, theyd be left to their own devices and probably be awkward around each other, but if I stay, I’d be constantly waiting for some brand new Bad News Bomb to drop. Either way, I’d likely start drinking a ton to try and numb my emotions.

I don’t want to think about this but it’s late rn and I’m acutely aware of the passage of time

[jotunvali02]

When you mother aggresses you with her ignorance and total contempt and disregard of your disability, saying "she's still in her house" and then talks like I'm aggressing her with my disability.

Ok, not only she totally disrepects my disability and my health needs, like they don't matter or less than her habits and wants, but on top of that she makes me understand that my very presence as a full independent human being, my reminding to her that I'm actually different from her, with opposite needs and habits from hers piss her off.

I dunno, she could avoid switching on that damn overheating wood stove I can't physically stand when I'm here, like two days a month, sometimes less often than that, it's not that much to ask for, but no, if my disability is in opposition with her habits, it's too much of a pain in the ass for her to keep the stove off even for two days and I am the one aggressing her.

"Do you think of others sometimes??" Translation: "You selfish bitch!"

I think of others all the time! But you don't seem to care about your daughter's health if your ears sting just for a few minutes or if you have to feel a bit cold and wear more clothes than usual for just two days a month, even less than that!

She call other people "selfish" when they think of someone else than her! While she's the most selfish, and self-centered person I know! You're not the center of the universe, or even my universe! Deal with it! She doesn't even bother, contrary to my dad, to do some research about my disability, and then she groans and complains when I remind her of it! Sorry to be such a bother!

Well lemme tell you, your likes for burning heat, loud noise, loud chatting, strong smells, verbal abuse and complains about people you love to judge and condemn but don't know, your disdain for respecting people while ordering them to respect you, even bow down to you and your superiority complex are all a big bother to me!

And after that, she buys me things to have good conscience or avoid feeling guilty (I precise I never ask for anything), she dares to send me messages where she says she "loves me very much" and so on, when I'm at my home and then she wonders why I don't come back more often.

Simple.

That's because she's there.

[fainlin]

That feel when family gets mad at telling people you love em over n over because apparently that's annoying, but I literally have no idea what else to say in stressful situations. And, if i don't say anything it still comes off rude as I then just come off as uncaring and cold. Does this happen to anyone else? What do I do?

[skelelexiunderlord]

I played mediator so im seeing how things are playing out.