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Thinking about Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe again. It'd be utterly impossible for me to ever truly encapsulate what this book means to me in words but oml.

I'm unwell

#i hate saying this #but agh you dont understand!!#no one gets it but MEEEE #thats not true obviously im just filled with emotions #i die inside everytime someone reduces aaddtsotu to a “gay/queer romance coming of age” :“)#ITS ABOUT LOVE YEAH BUT NOT REALLY ABOUT ROMANCE #its about relationships between different people #its about family and friendship and growing up and working out who you are and belonging and #like yeah the main focus is on Ari and Dante's relationship and that relationship is romantic in nature but theyre friends first #friends that love each other in an intense strong beautiful scary complex way that they dont quite understand yet #aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe #aristotle and dante #aaddtsotu #coolbeansnico

#sorry for cryptic ham and burr posting at one in the morning #love in this context doesn't have to be romantic but if you want it to be it can be! both platonic and romantic hamburr work in my head #burr isn't in good graces with any of the figures in hamilton or at least not for long and he does try to some extent to be #i c the whole gang is here! you are the woorrsstt burr #even the smfdr if u consider them don't stick by burr for long once hamilton's destroyed his name #stage blocking nerd btw it probably doesn't mean anything but even during one last time righttt after their whole mutual agreement in woys #they don't stand next to each other in the crowd scene for the final belts / burr is stood off from jefferson and madison #burr's orphaned and in wait for it he states doesn't have anyone who loves him still alive #and even when he gets his own family he outlives both his wife and daughter #everyone leaves or dies except for hamilton who approaches him first and consistently greets him amiably and considers him someone close #their relationship is strained from schuyler defeated onwards (on hamilton's side at least) but even then their history isn't erased #burr my first friend #sorry for such a long and obvious rant about this its just kinda sick and twisted to me i needed to get it out #if there's a reason i'm still alive (i survived but i paid for it) when everyone who loves me has died (when alexander aimed at the sky..)#then i'm willing to wait (wait!!) for it #and wait for it leitmotif in the world was wide enough ughhhhh i can't do this #this has gotten really long i'm done now ok bye..............#hamilton musical #hamburr

Making every ship 50% more aspec (making one of them aspec) ((or both)) (((we can have 100% aspec ....)))

#mellohidotmp3 #yes I do this with every ship #it's my rule for shipping stuff #if people wanna insist that aromantic people can date then every character in a relationship ever is aromantic #and YES it affects their relationship #that's right that romantic relationship is a queerplatonic relationship now #and yes the one who isn't aspec has complicated feelings about it and sometimes feels sad that their romantic feelings arent reciprocated #and yes the aspec one has stranger and unusual boundaries when it comes to relationships #they don't say “I love you” or they don't like kissing or they refuse to share a bed and a room or they don't like being called petnames #or they don't have any friends. they only have family. or the opposite #or they only want their partner to have sex with other people and they don't count that as cheating #or they let their partner date other people because they don't view monogamy as important since they don't feel romantic attraction #and you aren't allowed to complain ever because this is how it WORKS #everyone is aspec once I get my hands on them #that's right. even them. everyone #this post is perhaps about Byler #but you can't know that #byler #ok I suppose now you know it's about Byler #but like!!!!!! Mike is aromantic. sorry ! I don't make the rules I just follow them #Mike doesn't say “I love you” and he likes kissing and holding hands and sharing a bed but he doesn't like dates or big romantic gestures #and he reminds will that he's not in love with him because he doesn't want a repeat of the el situation #and Will doesn't mind but sometimes he gets upset because yes he'd like hearing it back but he also doesn't need it #and they don't have the words for it yet but their relationship works for them and that's all that matters #yes? good #oh wait #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #aspec

pondering aromantic dickie g again, as i'm wont to do, except now i'm thinking about how it could interact with the layered and unidentifiable mess that is his and bruce's relationship. dick who knows for immutable fact that no one, no one, will ever matter more to him than bruce does. but also knows a romantic partner is "supposed" to become that all-important person. and in a character-typical fit of self-flagellation he takes that to its extreme logical conclusion and rakes himself over the coals for being in love with bruce because surely he must be because that's how love works. right?

#and it really does compel me so much because dick IS an affectionate person and he does have so much love in his heart #& i personally don't hc him as aroace just aro so there's the extra layer of complication because (at least in my probably-aro experience)#even for someone as emotionally intelligent as dick experiencing both platonic and sxual attraction can very convincingly SEEM like #romance to you internally. and this isn't me saying he is or isn't attracted to bruce what i mean here is that extricating #different “modes” of desire is REALLY REALLY HARD not least of which when your life is — as dick's is — LITTERED with relationships #that already blur boundaries. babs has been friend girlfriend ex coworker partner ally co-mentor etc etc #clark is his friend but also his mentor sometimes but equal but not equal-equal and family but not family-family and coworker but #you get the picture. and especially because dick is extremely sensitive to both how he is perceived & expectations placed on him #even IF he was able to extricate that what he REALLY wants are things that aren't necessarily romantic (partnership. trust. feeling #seen and understood and needed and WANTED) he would struggle very very hard to reconcile that with the fact that it's generally #only/mostly “acceptable” (heavy on the air quotes) to get those things primarily from a romantic partner #so he keeps banging his soul against the wall attempting romance over and over when the connection he's chasing is #the partnership he and bruce had Before where it didn't necessarily have to be called anything or make sense. it was just...#we work together we trust each other we can talk without speaking we laugh we make jokes we need each other we're family #we learn from each other we compliment each other we complement each other we were young together and it was fun. being Batman and Robin.#tt (as in tom talks)#dick grayson #brudick #batcest #<- well again actually no but also yes but also not no but also not yes but DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN. THEY MAKE IT SO COMPLICATED #but i'm tagging it because people who see them as strictly father + son probably will want to not see this post

People rarely talk about the tragedy of being on the other side of unrequited love. Sure, one-sided love is beautiful and tragic in its own way or whatever, but being on the other side of that? Being loved wholeheartedly by someone you care about and knowing that you can’t return their feelings but wishing you could if only so you could spare their pain? It’s a kind of self hatred and frustration and helplessness that swallows you whole.

#and it happens all the time #so many crushes are unrequited #unrequited love #unrequited feelings #doesn’t have to be romantic either #it could be platonic or familial too #I knew someone who though of me as a friend and sibling and I felt awful every time they mentioned it because I am slow to trust #I thought of us as sorta friends and their parents called me their third kid #I felt so guilty because I just don’t make relationships like that nearly as quickly #it took me years to consider us as more than acquaintances #I wish I could have felt like part of their family and I appreciated their kindness but I just don’t work that way #the thing that brought this topic to mind was actually #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #that fantasy sickness where people cough up flowers because of unrequited love #imagine knowing that someone loves you so much that they are literally dying from it #and you can’t save them #theoretically you could save them and you wish will all your heart that you could #but realistically it just doesn’t work that way #and so you have to watch as they slowly and painfully die from something that you might have been able to stop #and it feels like it’s all your fault #and people around you probably feel like it’s your fault #but you can’t do anything but watch them die #or they just forget you entirely #which isn’t as bad but still #it’s a lose-lose #you lose someone you care about either to death or to amnesia #and if it’s the latter then you are the only one who loses them #that just sounds like it would suck #aromantic

2025 reads / storygraph

Everything The Sun Touches

book 1 in a medieval YA fantasy duology

a boy leaves his hometown after an embarrassing end to an engagement to become a secretary for a prominent merchant family in a trading port

and meets the merchant’s only daughter - who is reaching an age where she’s expected to marry - and they start to become friends

when a tragedy befalls their city, one of their friends is injured and their house is used as a safe haven, they discover they both have a connection to outlawed magic from the old country, which drives them closer together

pan MC, arospec?ace MC

#Everything The Sun Touches #aroaessidhe 2025 reads #asexual books #this was a kinda unique YA! I wasn’t sure where it was going!#it’s reasonably quiet fantasy; very slice of life for most of it; and then dealing with crisis and change (small scale)#and focused on their family and community. There is a bit of wider politics going on and pieces of #worldbuilding are revealed as it goes along. I suspect the second book might be a bit more of an adventure.#the MCs are the somewhat typical swapped-gender-stereotype-YA girl who’s headstrong and determined #and boy who’s a bit more friendly-awkward and falling in love all the time.#(and somewhat predisposed to get attacked on the street for some reason LOL.)#But they are interesting and well developed characters #It explores them coming into themselves and exploring identity - he’s pan and has had a lot of crushes but not much experience #and has the beginnings of a relationship with a boy he meets; & she’s somewhere on the aro and/or ace spectrums.#This is explored quite a lot as she’s expected to be married (though not going to be forced into it or anything)#and talking to her friends about it & their different feelings about attraction. she clearly has some kind of - whether it’s #queerplatonic crush or ‘this is my best friend and the idea of her prioritising a romantic partner upsets me’ - on her best friend.#honestly the marriage of convenience thing is like; suggested in the last 60 pages; it’s not as big of a thing as I expected #from the blurb (though I guess it was all leading up to that - it probably will be in the sequel)#I thought this was all explored well! the focus on a platonic (or queerplatonic) friendship as central is something i always enjoy #having said that I don’t think it *entirely* shuts down the idea that their relationship might grow romantic -#the author’s note says ‘a relationship that straddles between platonic and romantic’ so like. we’ll see where that goes?#I highly doubt it’d make them get together without any complexity explored there but. idk.#I personally hope it won't; so I guess I'm preparing for the idea that it might.#Their city is religious and heteronormative; but her father’s country is much more open and accepting. T #here’s a major side character who’s a trans woman; who is closeted when she comes back here (though not to people who know)#definitely very medieval /vibes/ tho with a pretty modern way of speaking. which works for me! but I know doesn’t for everyone #the gwen & art and little thieves comps…..yeah I think they work tho it’s slower and not *quite* as comedic or dramatic imo.#does have a similar feel in some ways #the magical elements are pretty subtle - to the point that at the beginning I kinda assumed there was no magic and #the gods were the same way we speak about gods irl lol. it just takes a while to get there (and again. i suspect in book 2)

I need to get over this feeling that living in this city means I am a failure.

#it's 900k population #it's close to other cities i can visit #my family is here and we're close #i have friends #i have stable housing and work #and kitties #and in the grand scheme of things it's cheaper than most other bigger cities #the only downside really is yeah I am most likely not meeting anyone here #i don't care if it's pathetic i want love #i want romantic love. i want a relationship. a vast majority of the population want similar things.

maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general

neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for

#twdg #violentine #clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up #clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm #and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively #they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie #violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance #i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it #me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die #wont somebody analyze narrative with me #it speaks

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