From: @jacqueslaurentzims
To: @fanaste
Happy Valentines Day!! I hope you enjoy this gift as much as I enjoyed writing it for you! Sending you lots of love, and I hope your day is as wonderful as you are <3 -Rae
Rating: T
Summary: In which Jack realizes that he left a few unanswered questions the day of graduation. The first of his and Bitty's talks throughout their relationship, set the night after graduation.
Relationship: Jack Zimmerman/Eric Bittle
Tags: Slight AU, Fluff, Slight Angst, Healthy Communication, Mentions of Anxiety, Implied Homophobia
________
The first time they had a ‘talk’ was about 4 hours after graduation and the kiss that followed. Jack’s parents had already left for their hotel, despite Jack’s insistence that they were welcome to stay in his guest bedroom for the night. His mother had waved him off, saying something about booking the room for a reason and wanting him to get some much needed rest, while his father just smiled and nodded along, sending Jack a look that he couldn’t quite figure out. So after tight hugs and whispers of “I’m so proud of you,” from both his parents, Jack was left alone in the quiet of his apartment.
The quiet didn’t last long, however, as he heard a familiar text tone from his phone: Bitty. He smiled softly at the sound, already getting used to the chirp that he’d set so he wouldn’t mistake him for someone else. He flipped the phone over, expecting a cheery message like the ones they’d been sending back and forth throughout the night. However, instead of the usual string of emojis or hearts, it was a question:
Text From Bits:
What are we?
At first, Jack was confused, seeing the change from the usually light-hearted texts. He could practically hear the change of tone as he read it, and his brows knit in confusion. Before he could type a response, another chirp sounded, followed by a few more in quick succession.
Text From Bits:
I mean I know what happened before you left
Even if I’m not quite sure I’m not dreaming
And don’t get me wrong I’m over the moon but…
What about your career? Or our families?? Your teammates?
Jack read the string of texts over and over again, practically hearing Bitty’s voice raise a few octaves the way it always did when he was stressed. Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, he read the first question again. What were they? Did he even know the answer to that?
When his father told him to say his goodbyes, Jack had been so struck he’d hardly thought about what he was doing. He was running off of adrenaline and panic, hoping it wasn’t too late for him to at least catch Bitty before he left. He was focused entirely on finding Eric, not on what he would do if - when - he did. So when he didn’t hear a response upon entering the Haus and found the kitchen empty, he panicked. It wasn’t until he heard the familiar lyrics, the same ones that he’d hear being belted from the shower, that he realized he had a shot, a shot he’d make.
He remembers it vividly, the look on Bitty’s face, eyes wide with shock and glazed with tears, mouth open as he yelped a startled “Hello!” The flustered stammering as he tried to figure out why Jack was there, why he looked so out of breath from running halfway across campus. The moment that seemed to stretch on for ages when Bitty went silent just before he’d leaned down to kiss him.
He was startled out of his memories by another ping, and he glanced at his phone again.
Text From Bits:
Sorry, you’re probably exhausted and here I am rambling about what ifs :(
I’ll just make something for the frogs moving in. Lord knows Chowder won’t complain haha!
Somewhere in the back of Jack’s mind, he knew this was going to come up eventually. It still didn’t stop him from being completely unprepared for it happening now. Still, it was a conversation they needed to have, preferably not over text.
Realizing that Bitty must be panicking from his lack of response, Jack typed out an answer, hesitating before hitting send.
Text To Bits:
I’m here Bits, don’t apologize
Maman and Papa just left for the night
Call me?
It took only a few seconds for Bitty’s contact picture to appear on screen: a picture taken mid-laugh, arms flexing slightly from the dough he was kneading. Swiping for FaceTime, Jack couldn’t help the small smile that slipped at the sight of the blond. However, the expression slipped slightly at the sight of him chewing his bottom lip, eyes looking slightly glassy through the pixels.
“Hey Bits.” Jack said softly, trying to keep Bitty from getting more worked up. “Talk to me, bud. What’s on your mind?”
“It’s just -” It took a few seconds for Bitty to speak, chewing his bottom lip as he tried to figure out what to say. “I was thinkin’ about what happened earlier and I was just so happy in that moment and all day afterwards. But I finally got settled and got to thinkin’ about what happened and-” He took a breath, looking at him as if hoping he could fill in the gaps.
“Bits if this isn’t what you want, I understand.” The words hurt to say, but Jack knew that he’d rather Bitty be happy without him than unhappy with him. “I know we didn’t exactly get off the best start, and I kind of sprang this on you but-”
“Oh honey, no! That’s not it at all. It’s just that…” Jack couldn’t help the small smile at the endearment, before listening as Bitty continued. “You’re you! And I know how much hockey means to you, and I just care about you so much, and I don’t want to put your career or your dreams on the line for my sake.”
He was babbling, but Jack understood what he was saying. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before speaking up, voice steady and confident. “Bits, Eric, I care about you too, and I know what I was getting into when I joined the NHL. I knew something like this would come up eventually, I wasn’t planning on living in the closet forever. I can’t say that I have a foolproof plan right now, but that’s something we can figure out together, yeah? For now, tell me this: Is this something you want? Do you want, well, us? I know I do, but the last thing I want to do is put you in a situation like this if you’re not sure.”
Finally looking back at the camera, Jack saw the bright, if somewhat shaky smile. “Jack, I want this more than anything. I can’t say I know what’ll happen, but I know you’re worth whatever risk I’ll have to take.”
Returning the smile, Jack wished for nothing more than to be there with him. But he settled for what he could do now. “I feel the same, Bits. We’ll figure this out together. One day at a time.”
