Oh my God, Oh my God. Who wrote this? - Twenty Three
Neglected!Reader x Yandere!Batfam
You somehow pull off seducing Dick much to your own surprise. And, you were polite enough not to look directly at his dick while doing it.
Warnings: Yandere themes, GN!Reader, Pesudo-Incest (Reader does NOT see themselves as part of the family), Reader’s age is ambiguous (i.e. They're not a minor, but there's no official number), CRACK, I went unhinged be prepared, nudity, mild to medium NSFW, Dick unleashes his freak and it's almost as bad as Tim's, attempted meaningful dialogue and tried giving Reader a bit o’ personality
Platonic Route
Prologue
Master List
Why the FUCK did you think reading the fanfiction Dick wrote about your ass before attempting to seduce him was a good idea?
No. No. Seriously, where the fuck did your logic go? To the Batcave?
Sure, you were looking for la inspiration. But, now you have butterflies under your skin. And, you’re probably running a low grade fever at this point judging by the heat coming off of your fucking face.
Look out Mister Freeze, Imma probably ruin your day. Call me the Heat Miser, motherfucker.
Dick apparently wrote sexy fluffy about you and him. Was that a thing? You fucking guess so.
It wasn’t anything ground breaking like what Jason wrote or even what Harley, if that is her, wrote as well. But, it was— Gah!
Fuck!
Kudos to this motherfucker though because somehow he figured out a way to make smut fluff. Describing kissing your skin in vivid detail. The words he’d been imagining whispering into your ear. Lots words. Probably the sexiest yapper to ever exist.
And, then there was the mirror sex one-shot and how he would trail his hands across every bit of sensitive skin you owned. Each word he'd imprint on your skin. And, tease you deliciously-
NO! It was relentlessly. The word he used was relentlessly. It did make your mouth water though. Tiny bit. No drool. Thankfully.
Definitely woke up something in you. You’re not sure what, but you’ve been trying to mentally fire tranquilizers at the damn thing since.
Why?
Because your dumbass was still gonna follow through with your mad plan. Throttle it, bitch. We're doing this.
After the most uncomfortable spa day of your life. And, you do mean that for yourself because for some reason all your usual estheticians and massage therapist seemed to pleased with getting you all pampered for tonight. Even though you hadn't mentioned a single thing to them. It was suspicious how happy they seemed.
But, you assumed it was maybe because the old bitch of manager had recently been fired. Lady always tried to kiss your ass to the ninth degree, but you heard her call you a ditz. While not wrong, she should've kept her mouth shut at least.
It doesn't matter though.
You were ready for this. Swimsuit? On. You weren't risking another exposure incident. Multiple towels? Check. Enough fancy drinks to share, but not enough to be suspicious? Rodger. Hot tub hot and bubbling? Yes, bitch. Dick's Nightwing suit draped over a chair? Also, yes.
Uh-oh. Gulp.
There are eyeballs on you. You can feel them. Two blue eyes that would make Hannah Montana weep with envy over their color. Hidden behind a domino mask that somehow sticks to the skin in every situation imaginable.
One extremely slow head turn later, you nearly have to cover your mouth at the holy sight.
"You are inappropriately hot." Great going. That’s one hell of a start to the attempted seduction.
“You’d be the… third person to ever say that, I think.” Dick, or Nightwing, chuckled warmly at you. Droplets sliding down his chest as his lifted one arm from the water and rubbed the back of his neck.
It is through God’s saving grace you don’t whimper at the sight of his… Actually, you’re not sure what that muscle’s called, but boy oh boy to you appreciate the hard work they do for Gotham and Bludhaven.
“Pardon me for not being original.” You can’t help snarking to cover your flustered state. It does a shit job since he ends up grinning at you like he knows. He probably does. Smug asshole.
“Shouldn’t you be on patrol?” The golden and probably most asked question you had when this bunch was in uniform. You planned for this little mission to be a quick jaunt for your heart’s sake. You were not built for the long sensual seducing sessions. Quick teases and then skedaddling was how you rumbled. Less embarrassing.
“Technically, I’m off for the night. Figured I stop by and check you didn’t lose your stuff again.” Dick was definitely enjoying himself in that casual confident way that had your brain going fuzzy. You couldn't tell through the fuzz.
“My hero.” You grumbled while feeling your cheeks heat.
He’s spending his night off with you? With you? He’s actively choosing this? Oh. My. God.
Younger you would scream. Mostly in horror. The fuck you mean it took them wanting to fuck you to want to socialize with you?
And, why was that freaking out present day you less and less?
Those questions are way too embarrassing to answer. Let’s avoid that with something less embarrassing.
How about getting in the hot tub with Dick/Nightwing?
No pressure.
You’re definitely not clumsy enough to be the heroine in a young adult novel. Sarcasm. You’re different. You have a love triangle trapping you in on all sides. And, no special skills other than making odd noises with terrible timing and fucking up your own life.
Still, you're giving Nightwing your best wiry and sassy grin and into the hot tub you go. Both legs in at the same, minimal splash on the slide, success.
“So is this a regular thing for you?” You can’t help asking with a raised brow as you attempt to nonchalantly settle across from him.
“I’m not exactly the type of person that needs the most help in this city, despite being a disaster at my own life. I think I have enough privilege and mediocrity to cover all my bases.” Honestly, you only make that comment out of curiosity. How was he going to explain away chilling here with you instead of busting up a drug ring or something?
Back when you first moved into Wayne Manor, it seemed as though everyone was busy with crime and costumes. Now, you’re here chilling with one of them. Technically while out of costume. But, let’s not think about that. You don’t wanna look be caught glancing too much at the bubbles below.
"I think you're underestimating how interesting you are." Dick's mask shifts a bit like he's raising a single eyebrow at you underneath it. A hum in his throat that takes you a bit by surprise with the goosebumps it gives you.
"A lot of people watch you." You know that NOW. "And, I don't mean that in a creepy way." Oh, he is not afraid of lying driectly to your face. You should properly write that down in your mental notes instead of watching the water droplets trickle down his skin like some thirsty bitch in heat.
"Then how do you mean it?" Okay, you're definitely curious now. But, how can you not be? This is intel.
"Bruce Wayne having a secret kid that grew up middle class isn't... unexpected. I would even go as far as to say that everyone in this city was placing bets on the next Wayne to drop. And, they were also expecting you to grow into an entitled brat." You can't help the look of confusion washing over you.
"What about Damian? Why did people in Gotham - and I'm including you in that, by the way - assume that I would become so entitled in comparison to Damian? I'll admit, I do stupid things all the time and I'm all for indulging in luxuries," You can't help gesturing to the the entire rooftop.
The view of the Gotham nighttime skyline around both of you. A stunning display and so far up in the air that you couldn't hear the sounds of traffic below. The towels that cost more than most people's income in Gotham. The fancy drinks. Which lead you to remembering to toss Dick Nightwing one.
And, he caught it with ease before slowly looking at you. Not in that sultry way, but with something that felt deeper. Instead it was the expression of a man that was being stunned by a sight that took his breath away each time his gaze drifted towards it. His mask doing nothing to hide what you almost thought was awe.
"This." He holds the drink up like evidence of his point. Which to be fair might have made you think you were busted on top of being confused. You’d made sure to get a few of those health drinks he likes to chug. Might have been a bit to on the nose.
"Damian came to Gotham entitled. No one expected his behavior to change for the worst. I'd even say people thought it was typical of him to act that way despite his improvement over the years. But, you..." There's a silent moment between the both of you. One that leaves you anxious and strangely intrigued.
Also relieved. Not busted yet.
"You didn't change for the worst when you came to Gotham and joined the snooty folks at the top. "
"... That kinda feels like a low bar to have."
"You'd think. But, it's Gotham."
"I hate that excuse." You can't help grumbling under your breath. Sexy feelings taking a backseat for a moment as you decide to get all philosophical in this bubbly bitch.
Then they return at full speed when he throws his head back with a laugh and a grin that looks way to delighted for you. That is an unfairly attractive laugh.
He could make audio porn of that laugh and be richer than Bruce by next Tuesday.
"You're proving my point again. You came to Gotham and you were suddenly a big fish in the pond. And, we, all of Gotham’s residents, were expecting you to start eating the other fish. But, you didn't." It takes your breath away at how soft his voice gets when his words trail off.
Like he truly believes in that statement.
It causes a plethora of emotions to wash over you, but you mange to speak while looking at him over the water and with the night air grazing your skin.
"Maybe I'm just a fish that doesn't need to eat other fish. Maybe... I'm just a big ass whale." Yes. Because comparing yourself to a giant hunk of blubber was exactly what you need to say to such a profound compliment of your shit personality.
You should’ve just omitted that last part and played it cryptic.
"A very sexy whale." Only Dick fucking Grayson could call someone a sexy whale and make their heart flutter with his stupidly perfect little dimpled smile.
That sudden urge to do something to break the tension start to arise inside you chest along with that tingling heat in your lower gut.
How should you do that? Hmmmm… Uh…
Do not attempt to make a sexy whale noise to hide from your flustered feelings. There no such thing as a sexy whale noise. You need to fight that temptation like your life depends on it. Sexy whale noises will not work in seducing him.
“Suppose that explains your ‘Free Willy’ for this evening.” The whale noises would’ve been a better. You did not need to pointedly look down at where his dick lay beneath the water and trail your eyes up at him.
But, thank GOD it fucking seemed to work, because, I shit you not, Nightwing - the Dick Grayson himself - blushes.
LET’S FUCKING GO!! TAKE THAT UP YOUR ASS BRUCE! I’M SEDUCING YOUR FIRST BORN!
Oh, wait. That’s technically you.
Eh. This counts.
Work it, baby. Work it.
Nightwing goes commando under the suit. Tell the media and the church.
“So you’re packing three beating sticks every night you go crime fighting? Good to know, I feel very safe.” Maybe there’s a little too much teeth as you grin impishly at him.
However, you needed this win. Badly.
Which doesn’t last because he’s standing up.
Oh… fuuuuck—
Shamefully or morally enough, you turn your head from the sight. You were not ready to be getting an eyeful at eye level of Dick’s dick.
Not yet at least.
Although you have a feeling it's probably standing at attention.
Jesus, and you thought Tim was the freak of the bunch. This man had his dick out like you were Harambe on a Gotham rooftop. Maybe Harley did have a point with that little rooftop punishment sex chapter she wrote. You should re-read that later. Possibly.
“Still feel safe?" Dick asked in a smug teasing voice. He knew what the fuck he was doing. You knew he knew what the fuck he was doing.
"Depends. Are you threatening me with that thing?" Keep it together. Keep it together. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
You were in over your head and barely treading water. Quick, look up at him through your eyelashes like in every other romance novel in existence.
DO NOT LOOK AT HIS PENIS.
"Maybe later. I need to take you to dinner first." He's moving closer. This was not apart of the plan. The was above your pay grade. Hell, you weren't even getting paid for this. Boy, did you underestimate this assignment.
"After... We might get up to a little something." Keep looking up at that stupid grin. Watch his lips! That's a seduction tactic, right?
You really should've fucking googled how to do this seducing shit and not just run off of all the smutty fanfiction you’ve read over the years.
“So you’ll do dinner while I do dessert?” Tilt your head slightly, show off those collarbones he apparently likes, and throw in an itty bitty teasing smile.
“I’ll consider it if you ask me in the future.” No visible signs of you internally losing your shit whatsoever, you hope.
And, judging by the way he looks seconds away from devouring you, you have successful managed to pull this bullshit off. Thank you, Jesus.
"I'm looking forward to asking then." The way Dick's Adams apple bobs makes the ego boost almost dizzying. You're almost disappointed when he get out of the water and grabs his Nightwing suit.
And, that little devil inside has you taking a peak at his back. Just a tiny peak. Leave it to him to have trapezius muscles that would make your mouth water.
"Have a nice night, Nightwing."
"It's already perfect." Comes his faint muttering before he's throwing an almost smug smirk your way and jumping over the rooftop railing in a perfect gymnastics formation. Leaping off it like he was Peter Pan come again.
You wait a full solid minute before you’re cackling to yourself and rubbing your hands together.
"Hehehehe, I just seduced—"
Only to choke on your words. Like usual.
Oh, GOD, you just intentionally put the moves on your older adoptive brother. While he had his literal dick out in front of you. AND, YOU WERE PROUD OF THAT?! The fuck was wrong with you , bitch?!
"Gotham didn't corrupt me, my ass..." Dick's words need to be processed mentally, but that was after you finished sitting in the hot tub with your heart racing in your chest for a multitude of reasons.
Your life was going to be a case study one day. You're not sure what the study was going to be on, but it was going to be a messy topic and you dreaded the future peer reviewed articles that would haunt you to your grave.
"You can stop laughing now, Stephanie."
"YOU HAD YOUR DICK OUT! YOU JUST WENT FOR IT! AND, THEY FLIRTED BACK WITH ACTUAL FINESSE! I'M SO PROUD!"
"Jason's still punching the sandbags in the cave. Bruce thinks a mission went wrong and is on stand by to console him. He's already busted... How many is that, Cass?"
"Three."
"Oh, so that's why he's not talking."
"I'll have to help him come up with s plausible excuse later to make him hurry up with that smut chapter."
"YousonofabitchI'mgoingtoruinallyourfuckinggymequipmentanddeleteallyourWIPsfuckingstolemyplanshouldvebeenme..."
"Tim's been muttering the whole time, just a warning. He just accidentally hit his comm button."
"Grayson?"
"Yes, baby bird?"
"Sleep with both eyes open for the rest of your life."
"God, this family is a mess..."
"Like you're not recording all of it for wine night, Barbara."
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A/N: Taglist will be in a separate post from now on so I can keep it from bugging out. It was stressing me out! A/N: I can't tell if I got a little too crazy with this chapter or not. I mean, it is a crack fic. But, gotta have some balance. Oh, well. I'm genuinely sorry this took so long, y'all. I'll get a burst of inspo at the times I can't write it down and then gotta go searching my head for it when I finally get the chance. I should've outlined. 😞