A Flash of the Past
Kai sits on the sand, his legs stretched out and his eyes watching the waves. He's thinking about surfing again. It's been two years since he stopped, and I know that he's imagining himself on the waves, remembering the motions, moving in a way that his body no longer can.
I'm carrying his picnic baskets over. I hope I got him what he wanted. If not, he'll tell me. He always does.
As I set them by his side, I see the way he used to be. I see his tanned skin and lightly muscled body. I see how his shoulders taper into a slim waist. I see his naturally powerful arms and beautiful face. I see the sunlight draw golden lines around his muscles.
This is the Kai I married. An athletic, slender surfer. A man who was content in an situation, who never spoke up for himself.
But then I shake my head and see what's really in front of me. The new Kai. The man he's grown into.
Round. Obese. Pale and bulging with half-hidden stretchmarks lining his skin like little secrets that only reveal themselves under my fingertips.
He's a big man now. He knows what he wants. And I'm just here to give it to him.
"Food's here!" I say.
Kai opens the first picnic basket and smiles at what I brought. (That makes my heart race. I didn't disappoint him.)
He nods toward the sandwiches. That's what he wants me to feed him first. (He doesn't need to tell me in words. He's trained me to follow his nods and gestures.) Then his eyes drift back toward the water.
I pull out his first sandwich, lean against him, and wait for his permission to start.
"Do you ever... see things the way they used to be?" he asks.
I squeeze his moob. "Absolutely! I was just..."
"Never mind," he cuts me off. Then he opens his mouth, waiting for the feeding to start.
I really want to talk about this, but Kai wants to eat. And these days, Kai always gets what he wants.
The End
These are the characters from my ebook Go with the Flow. It was one of my first gainer novellas, and I'm really proud of it. Kai and his husband were such fun characters to write.
