i’m glad elon is killing twitter because i just saw someone on there say that not letting your pets be obese is rooted in fatphobia 😵💫

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i’m glad elon is killing twitter because i just saw someone on there say that not letting your pets be obese is rooted in fatphobia 😵💫
I love that we are finally having these fat-based degradation discussions! They are so important. Everything you’ve mentioned has been spot on in my opinion, except that I think two important distinctions should be made.
First, you keep referring to fat-based degradation as fatphobia-based degradation, something I personally don’t agree with. Fatphobia refers to a societal and often systemic discrimination towards individuals because of their weight. It is often exercised through comments like these, but these comments alone do not equal fatphobia. The intent behind them and the context they’re used in is very important and I think conflating them as inherently fatphobic overlooks much of the nuance of this situation, to the detriment of those trying to fully understand it.
Which brings me to my second distinction; consent. This all hinges on consent and how it must be applied correctly for these comments to be (in my opinion) morally sound. As long as the teaser and teasee have both consented, no matter how harsh the teasing, I see no issue. Many people are into a myriad of “harsher” kinks that may appear violent or abusive to an uninformed observer, but are actually quite intimate and loving when consent is applied correctly.
Your mention of couchqueenie is a good example of this I think, because while her posts often express fat-based degradation, they are always about her alone and they never implicate that the insults she hurls at herself should apply to all fat people. She degrades only herself, for herself (and her followers who consent by following the blog). Personally, I don’t see this as an issue at all. It may make some people feel uncomfortable due to past traumas with fat shaming, and that’s fair, but those people are not forced to consume her content when she posts! They can remove their consent at any time by simply unfollowing the blog, just like you did. This is consent being applied correctly.
The issue arises when consent is not applied correctly. Frustratingly, these cases are far too prevalent in our community specifically. I have been in many other kink spaces and concluded that feedists, unfortunately, are often the least educated on the best practices and unspoken rules of engaging with kink in general. This leads to many (usually cis male) feeders pushing their fantasies onto others without consent, or taking advantage of a certain level of given consent to go above and beyond with their fantasies, effectively breaking consent. The scariest part is most times they don’t even realize what they are doing.
Anyway, I said all of this to say that I believe our first step as a community must be to educate ourselves more deeply on kink, kink spaces, and consent. Only then can we hope for improvement!
Hi, thank you! I appreciate your comment, but I did want to clarify a few things. My original post wasn't exactly a deep dive into the sociology of degradation and fatphobia in kink spaces, just a vent/rant post about patterns I'd seen in the community, so it wasn't as nuanced as it could have been and I apologize.
I do agree with you that a major part of this issue hinges on consent. If a fat person says they enjoy being teased or shamed for their fatness, then that is their prerogative and I'm not trying to say they're wrong or bad for it, and certainly not fatphobic. As I said in my previous ask, my comment on couchqueenie wasn't meant to be a callout, just an example of the type of language I'm talking about from a blogger many people would be familiar with.
In regards to your distinction of fat-based degradation vs fatphobia, I feel like the violation of consent when using this language is itself a symptom of fatphobia. The need to comment on the "ugliness" of any random fat person's body or make generalizing posts about fat people at large is a consequence of the negative societal view of fat people, just placed under a horny kink lens. The air of "I'm disgusted but aroused", especially by cishet white men (though they are not the only perpetrators, just the most prevalent), is reminiscent of similar attitudes toward queer people, people of colour, or disabled people, especially women, and it'd be remiss to argue those cases are not the result of bigotry.
In my opinion, the distinction lies between "fat people are [x]" which is fatphobic, and "this fat person who has consented is [x]", which is not.
yeah growing up a fat girl was a hell of its own kind :( my family put me on diets since i was 7; atkins, weight watchers, etc. made me join a women’s only gym from 12-15 and i wasn’t allowed any days off even on my period (which a) i was developing endometriosis and they were hell b) my cousin (same weight as me) was always allowed to take days off for hers), shamed me by buying smaller sizes and being mad they didn’t fit. No wonder i never felt like a Real Girl and did everything about it wrong growing up. It sucks so so so SO much and fat girls deserve so much better treatment
i relate so hard 🫂 for a period of time, my parents refused to let me eat sugar which resulted in me ravenously seeking it out at every opportunity, and that developed into extremely disordered eating behaviors. funnily enough, only once my anorexia caused me to rapidly lose weight as a late teenager, that’s when they started caring 🙄 not when they antagonized me for how i look and dress and walk and sit and eat and behave, only when i was small enough to deserve care and attention and protection 🤗 and on top of it, nearly every woman on my mom’s side of the family is/has been fat and had eating disorders, yet there was no solidarity among us. it’s horrible. reclaiming the idea of Being A Girl is still so foreign to me. there’s definitely a kind of gender dysphoria that comes from growing up fat. we deserve the world and more 💕
The games on the Wii Fit Plus are incredibly fun, but I really hate the anti-fat, BMI-obsessed aspects of it. It classified me as on the high end of 'at risk of becoming overweight,' so I set my Fitness Goal as gaining exactly enough weight to put me in the Overweight category. Now it'll have to encourage me to do what it's designed to prevent. Fuck you, Wii Fit.
in tumblr's great attempts to make fun of mens rights activists and bronies all it has actually accomplished is making fun of guys who are fat for being fat
so thank you everyone for attaching m'lady to a picture of a fat guy wearing a fedora and reblogging comics where the punchline is "a fat man wearing a fedora" it's truly appreciated and by that i mean not at all appreciated
i shouldn't have had to say this but here we are. stop being fatphobic.