Apr 14
Seriously… some people are so discontent with their life - They feel they have to put others “in their place” just to feel better about themselves - sad people - they are their own worst enemy.
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Seriously… some people are so discontent with their life - They feel they have to put others “in their place” just to feel better about themselves - sad people - they are their own worst enemy.
Coffee
I have a friend who is very particular. He wants things just so. If something doesn’t meet his standards, he will complain about it. Endlessly.
He has yet to have a decent cup of coffee.
I learned this going to all of the big-name coffee places with him. Then, when none of those measured up, going to all of the most micro-batch, one-off, exclusive coffee roasters you could think of.
It was an amazing tour of the coffee of Chicago. And it was that tour, accompanied by his endless soundtrack of complaints, that showed me what was wrong with the coffee.
Him. He was what was wrong with the coffee.
It wasn’t that he had exquisite taste. It was that he was exquisitely skilled at finding fault.
Because he was busy finding fault, he missed out on some of the best coffee I’ve ever had.
I know this, because I went back to some of those places without him. When I didn’t have someone telling me how awful they were, it turns out they were great.
It easy to laugh at someone who does this to themselves. Piling up preconceived notions and finding fault, until they keep themselves from enjoying…pretty much anything.
But it’s not just the dynamic that we see playing out in today’s Gospel, with its violent rejection of Jesus.
It’s a trap that all too many of us fall into with our relationship with God.
We miss out on God’s best for our lives, because it doesn’t meet our preconceived notions. We keep ourselves from being able to enjoy all that God has given us, because we’re too busy finding fault.
It’s not that God isn’t pouring out His grace upon us. It’s that we are so wrapped up in our ideas about God, about how things have to be, that we aren’t able to receive what God is giving.
When we get stuck like that, it’s easy to blame God.
Even though we’re what’s wrong with the coffee.
When we get stuck like that, the only cure is God’s grace. To ask God to take away our love of fault-finding.
To ask God to give us a desire for Him, not our ideas about Him.
Today’s Readings
Now, featuring dung beetle as Sisyphus/Atlas hybrid. 😂
He has great tranquility of heart who cares neither for the praises nor the fault-finding of men.
Thomas à Kempis
Criticism is a part of our life, whether we give it or receive it, it is always there. For the one who gives it, it is a way to show power and control, for the one who receives it is a humiliation. However, it is a fact of life and no matter who we are or what we do, as long as we have life we will always be in the place to receive it. The Buddha was often criticised by others, and I have even heard my own teacher criticised on occasion. Although it was a shock for me to hear such things, it was a good and clear lesson – look at the one making the comment before reacting. What is the origin of this remark? Ignorance and suffering are part of the unenlightened human condition. When they are present all unkind and cruel things are possible. Even with good intentions, without wisdom and love there will always be a ‘self’, an ego making its presence felt in the world. Here the endless continuation of personal competition, judgement and comment on the lives and actions of others will show itself at every available opportunity. Even in a Dhamma relationship, people often don’t want to hear the truth of a situation, they want only another reinforcement of their own views and opinions. For them this may seem to confirm and make more secure their place in the world, but in reality it is only another door of liberation closing. The purpose of Dhamma training is not like this. All the true masters remind us to look at ourselves before we judge others, and in fact the greatest teaching is to let go of judgement altogether. Our responsibilities as disciples of Dhamma is to go past the predominantly fear orientated mind, the part of us that needs to control and manipulate the world and everything in it, and realise the place of perfect peace. In this place we can allow things to be as they are and not be influenced or involved in the unenlightened words and actions of others. Beings are the way they are, that is their choice, but you are the way you are, and that is your choice. Here the world is as it is and we, from our position of love and wisdom, live easily and happily with our kamma. Seeing life without judgement and criticism and being able to accept and enjoy those things we like and approve of, whilst also accepting peacefully the other more difficult situations for us such as killing, cruelty and the outspoken opinions of others. In the end we have to look with compassion at the one making the unkind or cutting remark and offer our Loving Kindness. In the end, all unkindness in the world comes only from a lack of love. Without love, a life is truly empty and makes only the sound of a drum beaten by a child. The one who always finds fault with others will allow their own faults to grow and so always be far from peace. (Dhammapada: verse 253)
Michael Kewley - May all beings be happy
You split hairs over the shortcomings of others, but when it comes to yourself, you're blind. But if you turn your probing eye inward, the Beloved will still receive you, despite your faults.
Attar (trans Sholeh Wolpé)
The Times Recorder, Zanesville, Ohio, May 21, 1936