Lex's kinda long fboyleon rant !! ♡
now that I know lore and stuff...
♡
I dont want it to seem like im all "oh im so cool and sweet he'd love me immediately!!" Cuz its not like that hes very very avoident when it comes to love and relationships but ive been selfshipping with him for almost 2 years and I see it more of a 'we grew and got better together' I was severly mentally ill when I first found him i had an ongoing sh addiction and I was really struggling with ptsd and an eating disorder so I WAS GOING THRUU IT 😭 just like how he was dealing with everything he had going on and obviously his coping mechanisms sucked too
I like to think that around the time we first met and things started happening after all the..yearning and the avoidance and the mental anguish..😭 we both realised like 'dude i cannot live like this anymore' and that led to us both slowly starting to open up to eachother, im alot like him i hated opening up to anyone I'd rather deal with it on my own in my own self destructive way ..but I think we grew together and we got better together i haven't hurt myself in over 6 months, my eating habits got better and I haven't had any flashbacks or nightmares in a really long time and things slowly got better for him too like him realising he can let people in and he doesnt need to act the way he does just because thats what he grew up with.
we both still have really shitty days sometimes but we're both alot better at coping with it now and we know we can go to eachother.,I cride he crude we both crode 😢😢 I think i had this thought because I was like "ah fuck he wouldn't actually love me he'd be so avoidant and he'd be so mean to me" im locked in now i was geeked before i think we're both eachothers comforts like him realising i dont care how fucked up he is, im in it for the long haul and id do literally anything for him..like yes baby i know ur mad and ur upset but thats okay lemme cuddle and hold u until things feel okay again kiss kiss
..he'd never have to doubt how much I love him either because oh my god i get so so emotional over how much I love him ive been in tears sobbing crying my eyes out because I just love him so much i get so overwhelmed by how much love i have for him 😭 he's been my biggest comfort for so long and he always will be even if it sounds dumb because wdym FUCKBOY!! FUCKBOY LEON IS HAVING THIS AFFECT ON ME 😭😭😭 idc he's everything to me and I love him 🩷