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And at last, the storms calmed...

[[Alright, here I am. Finally. Though I know this all just sounds like empty promises these days, given how often I’ve now failed to become active again, yet still, I remain hopeful...

I am back now.

And I have as little distraction from spending time on roleplaying as possible. After all, I got fired from my job, my eye surgery is done and went okay, I am in no raid teams or anything in XIV, I have pretty much nothing I go do outside with friends anymore and my girlfriend flew back to the US this thursday after spedning three weeks with me. So to speak I am now “free” to roleplay once more thus.

I will give Lawrence priority as he’s my only group-affiliated muse these days and try to catch up on him asap before I do the same with Sceada. Maybe Bravely Second will bring my Kamiizumi back as well, we’ll see.

In either case I’m sorry for letting everyone down in terms of developing things and especially for my lack of involvement in the group’s plot as of late. I’ll do my best to improve this, you have my word.]]

#fc!ooc;

A little update (and a prelude to a return, I guess)

So over the past month, no, the past month and several weeks, I have been mostly absent. Checking in here every now and then, but for a good month not even replying to anything. And I feel it’s only fair to briefly list the reasons so you guys know what’s up:

1. My health situation took another dive, with repeated attacks of dizzyness at work and during other activities, rarely even at completely random times as well. It’s made me unable to work and all, which leads into point 3, but first let me say that at this point in time we still do not know what is causing it. We’ve ruled out heart issues (wearing a heart monitor for 5 days is quite unpleasant, especially if you get no answers...), issues with the ear, an infection and several others. The current best bet is - and this is a real laugh for my girlfriend, I assure you that, cause really, she just cannot see that being it with how we.. interact.. - a testosterone deficency. It was low on the last bloodwork, but as that fluctuates anyway it still needs to be confirmed, so yeah. Either that... or mental issues again.

2. My eyes. Especially the left one. They’ve been causing me problems for months now, and two months ago it got confirmed that I had a “Keratokonus” in both of them. As we found out this week, the right one is stable and just needs to be observed - the left one however requires surgery. Now, the surgery won’t make my eye better, mind you. I’ll still have very, very poor sight on my left eye. It will merely stop the degradation I was experiencing, which was by the way massive: Up to an entire dioptrin in some spots on my eye in just those two months. So surgery is, unfortunately, a must. But this is now where the fun part only starts: Insurrance, despite swiss health insurrances covering almost everything these days, will likely not pay for it. Because the technique they use is, quote unquote “too new and not documented enough” and thus not approved just yet. So I get to feel like some sort of guinea pig and pay a whooping 1400.- for just one eye. Ain’t that wonderful?

3. My work situation. Due to being unable to work cause of my dizzyness and vertigo, I have had trouble with my workplace where I started just last November. In the middle of December we tried to improve the situation by temporarily reducing my workload to 50% - merely a week after I was sent home because it proved to be too much. I have been written sick ever since as we search for the cause. Now, the thing is that until the end of January, I am still in the probationary phase where I can be fired without giving a detailed reason. The store hasn’t done so yet, for which I am immensely grateful - but on the 15th we’ll have a meeting and with a 95% certainity my contract will be terminated. I can’t blame them though. I’d have fired myself weeks ago. But they tried to believe in me as apparently I am an excellent worker. Now I had to disappoint them... - and myself too. Which leads us to the last point:

4. My mental state. I cannot deny it. For the past weeks and maybe even months my mental state has been going downhill steadily. Is it caused by all my health issues? Is it caused by feeling stuck in life with no perspectives? Is it caused by the bad atmosphere at home where everyday there’s some sort of argument and everyone’s on edge due to our family having a 5-digit tax debt curtesy of us getting screwed over by the people we paid to fill out our taxes? I can also not put aside the possibility that I went off my medication (which caused me to gain abou 18kg in 5 months, whoop-de-fucking-doo >.>) too soon and that I need to go back onto anti-depressants. This is gonna be discussed in the days to come and well... I guess there really only is one option...

So anyway... I know that I let people down by disappearing like that but I just wanted to bring you up to date for now. I’ll shortly begin working on replies so you can (hopefully) consider me back, albeit completely out of the loop regarding the group.

As usual, if any of you wish to no longer pursue their threads with me due to the long wait, I absolutely understand.

Yours truly,

Patrick~

#fc!ooc;

My heartfelt apologies for how little I did on this blog in the entire last month. I have been dealing with a lot of stuff, mostly my health and work, and it’s not only killed a lot of time and motivation in me, but unfortunately also optimism and progress.

Or, to be blunt: I am feeling quite depressed lately over everything failing on me, and despite RP being one of the few things I still genuinely enjoy I could not find it in me to do anything on this blog here; my apologies.

I understand if this makes people not wanna play with me anymore. I am difficult to play with after all even without this curtesy of timezones but with all this added I imagine I must be quite unbearable to interact with, especially if you try to build a plot. I am sorry for that. I understand if people wanna drop things. What I’m doing here is not fair to anyone at all after all.

Sorry guys...

I feel like this is yet one more thing I fail at...

#fc!ooc;

Real quick Thing:

Akari has a pen name that she writes some other literature under. Her main romance series that she’s famous for is under her real name, but things like fanfiction and some other *cough*literature*cough* is written under the name Karu Lee. Unless she tells you, you probably can’t tell Akari and Karu are the same person. Hence why Akari is sometimes secretive with her work.

The Lee part is to honor dear Mod Edea’s character Edea, aka Birdy who’s really important for Akari in normal verse, and so the relationship lives on. Karu came from a shortened version of Hikaru, a name that has a similar meaning to Akari.

#outofhammertime #fc!ooc;#;how the saboteur lives her life #;mysterious author karu lee #v;fate cipher

📎!

For every 📎 I get in my ask box, I’ll post a thread that I want to do.

Another thread that I would love to do, I think would be Quince’s first time at the Circuit Raceway.

I think Quince would enjoy amateur racing, once he got used to it, but maybe as a passenger for someone else’s time trial to begin with and he’d be scared shitless! He’s never been in a pod going that fast, and his first time would be terrifying for sure!

possible partners: @dramaticxhairxflip @hisheartbreaker, @taka-yee (probably the only one I know for sure has a licence) or @gamingforcredits, and people I haven’t interacted with: @daemonflorescence, @seekerofstarlight

#this thread is open for grabs #hisheartbreaker #fc!ooc;#;out of data

📎

For every 📎 I get in my ask box, I’ll post a thread that I want to do.

I thought this would be easier, but I actually didn’t have as many threads in my wishlist as I thought.

I would love to explore the prospect of Rigald’s Museum and Quince attending lectures there, or just browsing the science exhibits. I’m not sure which characters would be the most likely to give or attend lectures at Rigald’s, but anyone who’s interested is welcome to message me.

#fc!ooc;#;out of data