The Morning After The Night Before | Dougie & Persephone
Dougie’s head was a mess. Well, more so than it usually was. After waking up from about, a couple of hours sleep -- which, granted, was progress for the young man; he was lucky to get half an hour in on most days. When he woke up to his roommate sleeping right next to him, he remembered all too well what had happened. And now was the aftermath. Now was when he realised that they’d have to deal with the repercussions, and immediately his brain was stalling, rushing to get his thoughts gathered together that were already in a heap. Looking over at the clock, he noted that it was still ridiculously early but he wasn’t surprised. He was far too used to early mornings by now.
Being careful not to disturb Persephone, Dougie shuffled out of the bed, picking up his clothes that were strewn across the floor, before putting them down for laundry and headed into his room for a change of clothes, and a towel for a shower. There was nothing like a shower before starting a day which could be messier than usual. He noted the marks engraved on his skin from the night before, and he silently joked to himself that it was a good job some of his shirts were buttoned up right to the top and has chosen one of those shirts before his shower. Once he was out of the shower and dried off, changing into a new pair of clothes: one of his button ups, a pair of jeans and one of his cardigans he’d always wore that brought some sort of comfort to him. He gave himself a bit of time for his hair to dry, but then sitting at home became all too much for him to think about. What if she woke up? What was he supposed to say? How was supposed to act now? It sent a wavering pang of anxiety to flood through his veins, making him feel jittery and he was certain he could feel a migraine coming on. That was when Dougie decided that if he didn’t get out now, he wouldn’t be able to breathe, and he’d hate to think that he could bring a panic attack upon himself just because of something so minor.
The first place he thought of was the rooftop. It always was his safehaven, a place for him to show up at when he just needed to think, to contemplate or do something as simple as watch the sunrise or sunset. Usually, it was empty at this time in the morning, and he didn’t want to wake any of his friends up just because he was a mess. Perfect. The next few hours, or however long (he’d lost track of time), Dougie was sat there up on the rooftop, his legs tucked under the chair he perched himself upon, trying to sort everything out. What did last night mean? It was the spur of a moment type of thing, that was for sure. He hadn’t expected it but... what did that mean in regards to his feelings? After all, he was convinced that he wasn’t entirely over Lynn yet. Thinking about her made his entire body ache and yet there was a small shred of hope that she would come back one day. He loved her, he did, he knew he did. It was rooted in his bones. And he felt an incredile amount of guilt for what had happened between him and Seph. He felt as though he’d cheated on her in a way, which technically wasn’t the case as they weren’t together anymore. But how could he think that he still loved Lynn if he slept with someone else?
How did he feel about anything or anyone? How did he feel about Persephone? Dougie couldn’t decide whether it happened because there were present feelings there, which would normally be the case because Dougie never exactly became sexually involved with someone unless they were romantically involved at the same time (with a couple of exceptions), but he also wondered whether it was just past feelings, unresolved ones from back when they were kids that just happened to flare up again. Sleeping with someone was one thing, but sleeping with someone who happened to be your roommate, and someone that you’d knew since you were kids was another thing altogether. A complication. Once he concluded that running away from your problems would not resolve them, Dougie plucked up the courage to return home and face the music but he was absolutely terrified. Terrified of what’s to come.
Stood outside the door, Dougie inhaled a deep breath, attempting to mentally prepare himself for whatever he was about to face. The sleeves of his cardigan were pulled over his hands as he slowly pushed the handle down and stepped into his apartment, the place he’d called home since New Year’s Eve, but was now a potential foundation for chaos. As he shuffled in timidly, his head ducking like he was about to be told off or something, he hadn’t felt so scared to come home than he had with Amber over two years ago, where he had often made himself ill by thinking about what was to come when he walked through the door. He hadn’t felt like that before sinec he’d left her, or not until now anyway.
