FEAR(LESS)?
Before closing out what has been a heartbreaking, educational and powerful series, I’ve decided to share my own response to the question of why I am not afraid of the police.
As a journalist, I have to remain objective. As a matter of professional ethics, I cannot, and refuse to, be afraid of the police.
I don’t want to paint them with a biased brush, because it is impossible that all police officers are bad or, even, that they are all trustworthy.
That being said, I can speak on my own experiences.
The encounters I’ve had with police have been mixed.
I was given a breathalyzer on my way home from work one weeknight. It was almost midnight, I was exiting the highway near my apartment and I passed with a score of 0.01, I believe. After I passed, I was told that it was a routine checkpoint and assumed that was why I saw another car stopped on the side of the road.
During our conversation the officer asked me where I lived twice, where I worked twice and the second time I responded— I worked for a television station— he said he couldn’t believe it. I “look[ed] like a model.”
He continued to talk to me as I got in my car and put on my seat belt.
I wasn’t scared. I was wildly uncomfortable, but I wasn’t scared. I smiled like I smile at the airport, at the DMV. I smiled because I know who I am, and what I look like — "friendly." I know that the idea of not judging a book by its cover is mostly a myth because I know I am a much bigger asshole than I appear to be and I am constantly given the benefit of the doubt.
I would’ve ignored a man on the street, perhaps even insulted him, but I had to speak to the officer, even if I didn’t want to, and I was, hopefully, in the blessed position to be able to smile my way out of it.
I’ve encountered police officers who’ve ticketed me illegally and those who tried to help me get out of the tickets they wrote. I’ve encountered lazy cops, compassionate ones, been asked to roll my window down to flirt, had interview questions ignored by them, been followed for blocks and blocks in the middle of the night.
It hasn’t been all good and it hasn’t been all bad. Readers can infer what they’d like from my story, and hopefully learn a lot more from the stories of others who responded to the question.
- Celeste
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"Domestic violence is 2 to 4 times more common in police families than in the general population. In two separate studies, 40% of police officers self-report that they have used violence against their domestic partners within the last year. In the general population, it’s estimated that domestic violence occurs in about 10% of families." One of the more compelling reasons for the lack of trust:
http://www.purpleberets.org/violence_police_families.html”
- Rachel, 27, NYC
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"At face value, I’d say I’m not afraid of the police. I’ve never had a real, confrontational experience with the boys in blue. That said, I’d still shy away from making any real eye contact for fear of being questioned for no reason other than "staring too hard." In light of recent events, it seems that not much more than this is needed for an altercation, so uh… yeah. I’m fearful to a degree." - Aaron, NYC
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"I’m afraid of police who abuse their authority, and act out in violence, instead of using their authority to reinforce peace. Police brutality remains a problem and recent acts prove that there are a lot of cowardly police who are also afraid." - Alicia, 27, Brooklyn, NY
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"I'm scared of them for the same reason you're afraid of the bullied kid in school cause you never know what they might do to be seen, to have that 10 o'clock spot on the news.
I'm afraid of them cause you can never trust someone who doesn't trust you.
I'm afraid of them for the same reason your mother doesn't want you growing up playing with toy guns... 'cause you'll eventually get comfortable, and cops and robbers along with cowboys and Indians become cool, it's fun and it's now your reality and something you live to do... Catch the bad guy.
But if you decide that all bad guys are from the eastside is that not a road to genocide? Im scared because... They're ignorant!
And God blesses the babies and fools but there's no sympathy if that's a deliberate choice to pull a trigger, 'cause I don't look like you or I DO look just like what a thug is supposed to?
I'm afraid cause even the simplicity of their uniform choice lacks the truth. They're the boys in blue which symbolizes peace, one-on-one communication yet that's never present when they come through. Why does it take 3 cars to traffic stop you?
Scared cause my house was underwater and my baby needed food so I needed to loot and they saw fit to shoot.
Scared 'cause my brother was dragged out of a barber shop, harassed and verbally abused 'cause, "We were looking for someone who fit the description of you."
Scared 'cause a few weeks back I missed my court date, you stop me on today and I get treated like I'm an enemy of a state in which I faithfully pay taxes. I'm sacred because of their presence, because they're never present. Forever maleficent and we're doomed..." - Taryn, New Orleans, LA
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"I am afraid of the cops because we live in a world where one can be black, unarmed and innocent and be targeted and shot with excessive force, but be white and guilty and get passed by. Cops mentally incapable of diffusing basic situations without firearms should not be patrolling the streets. They’re just Zimmermans who slipped through the cracks of the police academy." - Kalila, 24, Brooklyn, NY
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"When it comes to the police, I am most afraid of what they are capable of doing to me, whether I deserve it or not. They have the power to act upon their own beliefs with complete disregard to the rights of civilians, as well as the law.
My voice is looked at as a weapon by the police, rather than a form of self-expression. Using my voice as a form of agency has been enough for multiple officers to body slam me to the concrete and hit me with a baton. So, I fear their power, I question who and what they protect day by day, and do not feel safe when they are around.” - Michelle, 21, Long Island, New York
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"A couple months ago, I was coming from an art/fashion pop-up street market in the heart of downtown LA, only blocks from skid row. The event ended shortly after midnight, and I proceeded to walk to my car to head home.
Seconds after I drove off, a young black woman runs from a dark alley and jumps just feet from my car, completely naked. I was shook.
I pulled over to another street where I thought it was safe and called the police. The operator asked me a number of questions: what was her ethnicity, was she screaming, was she still in the street?
I answered as best I could, still shaking myself and asked if they could hurry and bring a police car to check on her. The operator tells me, “How about you go back and see if she’s still there? I’ll stay on the phone with you.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Not only are you not sending an officer to check on a woman who could have been a rape victim or God knows what else. Now you are willing to put me, a single female, directly in harm’s way.
I thought your job was to protect and serve.” - Jessica, 27,
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"I personally am not scared of cops. I am, however, aware of their ability to impede on citizens’ rights without consequence. And that is scary!"
- Patrick, 24, New Orleans, LA (Patrick also wanted to be identified as a 6ft, 2in black male.)
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”I wouldn’t say I’m exactly afraid of the police, I would say I consistently question their intentions. I would say that I realize their abuse of power.
I acknowledge the fact that when it comes down to it, no matter how smart I am, no matter how well mannered I am, no matter how compliant I maybe, no matter how economically stable I become, I will always be a target because I can never be enough of these things to escape my Blackness.
The innate criminality, sexuality, and hatefulness associated with being nonwhite is what scares me.” - L.A., 27, Brooklyn, NY
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"I am mixed on this. I fear no person in this world because we are all human beings. Growing up in the Bronx I’ve experienced harassment by police for absolutely no reason.
With this being said, I do experience a little bit of fear when there are groups of police officers, because, in my eyes, they appear to be nothing but another gang at that point.
The way law enforcement has been abusing their power, both in front of me and across the nation, has left me with a feeling that I cannot trust those who are sworn to “protect” me and with that comes a reasonable sense of fear that my life, or body, could be in jeopardy when dealing with these busters.” - Hector, 28, Bronx, NY
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“History proves that the police have never been on the side of African Americans.
So as a black male in America I am very cautious towards police. Unfortunately we in the urban community see them as an adversary and not a protector.
So I am “afraid” of the police for these reasons. Black males are stuffed in one category and it normally fits the profile of a set of young people in our hoods committing crimes, many of which have psychological conditions instilled through our historical/economical hardships. We are talking about kids in poverty, many of which just searching for a way out.
Many of whom have parents who fell in the drug epidemics and whose elders’ spirits’ were broken by the civil rights and post-civil rights government wipe-out.
The authorities handle us all the same. I’ve been stopped and frisked since I was 14 years old and never once have I had a weapon or drugs on me.
I don’t have a criminal record at all.
I was physically assaulted last year by 3 detectives because I understood my rights and asked them to uphold theirs.
In my heart, I only see one answer. I see a need for more black Americans to become officers and patrol the very streets they come from.
That will rid us of the idea that white officers are in fear for their lives so they shoot first, ask questions later. The image in my head is that they ride in patrol cars, carry guns by day, and attend rallies with burning crosses and white sheets at night.” - Rashid, Staten Island, NY
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"After all the heinous acts that those hired to "protect and serve" have committed in my community, my feelings towards the police aren’t necessarily those of fear.
I’m not scared of them. I’m irritated and disgusted with them.
They are the enemy to me. I don’t trust them with my safety or my life.
Which means that it’s all up to me to educate myself and be aware and cautious so as to never wind up in a compromising situation that would require me to dial 911.
It’s sad that it’s come to this, but I would call so many people before resorting to that option.
911 isn’t the solution to distress; it’s the cause of it.” - Stacy-Ann, 24, New York
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“The answer is complex and should be from anyone. I am afraid of the police simply due to the fact that there is no telling what they will do.
That’s speaking in the most general terms.
More specifically I find that the police are more involved with pretty crimes because it keeps them safe. They troll the subway for people not paying fares but avoid neighborhoods like Brownsville.
That’s just bad use of resources.
But I will say most candidly that I acknowledge the good fortune I’ve been given being born white in the world we’re living.
And because of that, I am always very conscious of how ignored (for lack of a better word) I am by the police in situations where I should be the main suspect.”
- Greg, 27, NYC
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“They abuse their power. And they treat everyone like criminals even if you did nothing wrong.” - Anonymous
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“I wouldn’t say that I’m necessarily afraid of the cops, but I feel like I don’t have the leeway to be anything besides on-point when I am near them.
Growing up, hearing stories about police brutality like Abnee Louima and Rodney King, it made me feel like of course there are good cops out there, but there are also horrible ones and it is impossible to differentiate.” - Kwaku, 25, Queens, NY
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"The times police have been involved in my life they have been there to help, thankfully. But, growing up, I was not oblivious, to police brutality. I remember hearing about Diallo and Sean bell, Antony Baez.
These are names of people that stay in my head after all these years and all these men have two things in common— they are men of color and have dealt with police brutality.
I have not lost complete faith in the police, because I do have relatives on the force, but these latest incidents have made me question this. - Anonymous
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"I submit it’s difficult to confess to a fear of uniform but, I cannot deny the apprehensive reflex felt when walking or driving by a police car, or in a white uniformed officer’s presence.
Having studied the psychological heuristics of latent and subjective fear triggers, I understand that my knowledge of arbitrary and capricious exercise of police power throughout history cannot be unlearned.
It’s also my emotional connection with Black life in America, now, and during the Jim Crow era of yesterday which raises my heart rate uncontrollably in a white police officer’s presence.
The fact remains we as a nation have had more segregated days than desegregated days. Therefore spillover racial bias is in all of us, whether conscious or subconscious.
I cannot concede that I fear the police, but I cannot deny it either.” - David, 27, Washington, DC
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“I’ve never been scared of the police. But, in the past two years, between Oscar Grant, Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner and Mike Brown, things have changed.
I’m not necessarily “scared” of the police but I am scared of what they can do. I’m not going to do the simple thing and label them all as bad cops. White people have been doing that to us for years, so I won’t. I’m going to be better than them, because I AM better than them. I’m the bigger person. I’m the bigger man.
But at the age of 30, I’ve never been arrested and two distinguished degrees…I now know that none of that matters.
I’m still a target and maybe always will be.” - Anonymous Journalist, Indiana
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"Anyone with any form of power can abuse it. Even the security guard at Macy’s. Though almost insignificant in comparison to the larger scale of malfeasance, it happens daily and may often go unnoticed.
As a resident of the city of New York, police brutality and abuse of authority has been a topic that is very hard to overlook.
Although these individuals with “power” have chosen to protect and serve in a less than humane way, I have a strong feeling of internal righteousness that overshadows any acts of cowardice from certain public officials/servants.
It has been ingrained in my being that we, like any group of targeted people, have the willpower to rise above ignorance and make for a brighter future.
I have an extreme amount of faith that with the current state of our nation and the strength of our people, we will initiate that change that is destined to come.
We will create courage based off of the need for change and eliminate the feeling of fear.” - Marlene, 28, Harlem, NY