It would seem that my mind has shifted into a barren desert of a mental plane. No creativity has fallen on the cracked earth from life-giving clouds recently.
Since the end of February I have written like three poems (where as from November-mid February I was writing like one a day or more). All three of these poems are about the full moon in some way. Hmm.
I'm not despairing or beating myself up about it though. Creativity always seems to come in waves. Sometimes you just need to go through the motions of life without saying anything. Just listen. There will come a time when all of these things I've been seeing and doing and learning are just going to burst from my fingers like an ocean from a dam. I've been writing for eleven years. I know the routine. I am not worried. I am way past the point of knowing that I am a writer. Nothing I say or do will ever change that fact. There is no way in hell that I could ever stop, even if I wanted to.
A lot of us go through these periods of writers block. Sometimes we're just on a roll, and it's just like one brilliant fucking piece of writing after another, and you're proud of yourself. And then some shit happens and your writes don't please you as much and it becomes more of a struggle and then you're just kinda like ehh and maybe stop doing it for a bit.
I haven't really stopped, I'm just not sharing as much right now. I'm not sharing them because they aren't really fluid, they were kind of yanked from my head and beaten into submission on some pages in my note book. In a way it's like "yeah that's what I wanted to say" but it's also like "that's not how I wanted to say it".
To my fellow writers who are struggling or who are just going through one of those times where you're wondering what happened to your gift, I say do not worry about it too much. I know it's hard, because there aren't many things in this world that make you feel like you have a voice or a purpose and this is the connecting circuit for your soul and heart to reach out to the world, and when the circuit starts malfunctioning you become afraid and worried and start to feel a bit crazy. Maybe fear and insanity could work for you. My advice: just write anyways. Even if you hate it. Even if you think it sucks. You can write but you don't have to share it if you don't want to.
You WILL write something that will blow many minds. You WILL do this when you least expect it.
You have some shit going on in your life but don't let this worry add to it.
As for me, myself, I've been making music (shredding on the blues harmonica), making the Benjamins, and appreciating the living fuck out of all this beauty our world has to offer us.
Music and money may not be my forte, but they are activities and through them the world can become more beautiful, your gift for writing can expand and evolve in the silence.
