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[federerblog]

Happy Valentine’s Day Roger Federer Fans! 😚💝😘

[federerblog]

Eighteen: A reflection on belief, joy and my life as a tennis fan

(photos above taken by me)

“I’m out of words”, that was what Roger Federer first said after lifting the 2017 Australian Open trophy, and that is exactly how I feel, even over one week later.

Roger Federer won his 18th grand slam, 5th Australian Open title and 89th career title. Although, honestly those numbers somehow seem like the least important part. The journey, as they say, matters more than the destination, and I can’t think of a time when the phrase has been more apt.

For perhaps the first time in his career, Federer entered a major with no expectations. 17th seed back on tour after recovering from the first surgery of his professional life and a 6 month injury lay-off - he was much more than an underdog, from this tournament all that he wanted was to know he was in full health, and as a fan, that is the most I could ask from him too. So as I prepared to attend the Australian Open, for the first time I didn’t book a return flight or any tickets in advance, for no other reason then to account for uncertainty.

I watched Federer rust himself through the first two rounds, just happy to see him on court again. Ahead of the third round I urged myself to mentally prepared for a loss, I had to, he was facing his first top 10 opponent since Wimbledon 2016. But then something clicked, the gears turned, he understood court, and he just kept on winning. Defeating three top 10 players and breaking a 5 year Australian Open semifinal losing streak to make it to his 28th grand slam final. I was already in a state beyond disbelief, even if you stopped the story right there it would be one for history, at least in my eyes.

So just like that the build up the final swelled, and by some miracle I had a ticket, purchased right before Federer played his semifinal, just in case you know.

The magnitude of expectation on this grand slam final was unlike any I can recall in my time following professional tennis. Players - past and present, experts, analysts, die hard fans, casual fans, any guy on the street hyped this match like it was the last match to be played on Earth; “the most important match in Australian Open history, and possibly grand slam history” Andy Roddick called it, and to my distress I had to cautiously agree. When two exceptional players who have shaped the sport for almost two decades overcome injury, age and doubt to reach the final of a major, how can the anticipation not intensify?

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If you have been following me for a long time, you may know that for as long as I have had this blog, I have been attending the Australian Open. To explain why, I will get a little personal:

My life has so far followed this relatively straight line, a routine path that many people take. I know I have a lot to learn every day and when you are young it is difficult to be sure of anything; but for an unfortunate reason that difficultly is somehow always amplified for me. Any little problem, I analyse it one hundred times over until every possible consequence has been considered, big decisions swallow me, sometimes until there is no decision left to make anymore. Anyway, this is not supposed to be a post about my mental state. The point is, when I first started watching Federer’s tennis, it is one of the only things I have ever been sure about from the first instant. And I stayed enthralled ever since.

I know how painfully unhealthy it is to put so much weighting on watching some guy, who sort of does not know you exist, hit some balls around a court, but I have to let Venus Williams have the word on this:

“Sport is triumph and disaster witnessed in real-time. This is why people live and die for sport, because you can’t fake it.”

Federer breeds inspiration, watching him play has become a constant lesson for me that finding strength and holding on to passion and belief matters, and more simply he reminds me that there is always still something good. The opportunity to see that inspiration up close is unmatched. And so I kept going back every year, I took time off, let my bank account suffer, and bought tickets to every round Federer reached, and every Australian Open men’s singles final for five consecutive years - because in my wildest dreams, I had to keep hope alive that maybe one day I would see Federer win a grand slam with my own eyes. But it was a pipe dream that ended in what I can only call heartbreak each year.

Until last Sunday.

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Roger Federer became the oldest man to win a grand slam singles title in 45 years, notched his first grand slam victory over Rafael Nadal in almost 10 years, and won his first grand slam title since Wimbledon 2012. And I was there to see. Every point, every match, the whole journey - the whole fairytale. A fairytale where every moment is more unreal than the next: the comeback from injury, the hideous draw, the 4.5 year wait between this major and the last, battling from a break down in fifth set, those 5 consecutive games, and to do it against the player who has been his most unforgiving rival throughout his career.

Like Federer said, this one stands alone. Even if I wasn’t there I would still struggle to process the significance of this victory. But now it resonates with me on a personal level. When Federer lost in the 2016 Australian Open semifinals to Novak Djokovic, his agent Tony Godsick told me not to worry “we’ll get it next time”, one year on and I am giving Mirka Federer a hug after grand slam number 18.

No emotional outpouring I write could do justice to joy Federer delivered in Melbourne that night. The only thing I have left to say is thank you. Thank you Roger Federer, for not only giving me something to believe in, but turning that belief to reality. My biggest dream has come true.