I love it when I've totally dug my hooks into a feedee's temptations and desires, and have such a powerful influence on their habits that they don't even realize that it's nobody's fault but their own it's gotten this bad.
Encouraging you every-single-time you talk about your fat and its consequences, to eat about it. Making things up that seem like rules and making it sound like a no brainier, like: duh honey.... it's totally normal to follow these rules, we all do:
Are you Happy? Then you should stuff yourself till it hurts. Sad? Eat slowly, it'll cheer you up.... then stuff yourself till it hurts. Horny? You know what to do. So long as you're eating more.... "for me."
So long as you forget all those silly other coping skills, no matter how much we both know better, how toxic you think it is that I encourage you to replace mindfulness with eating until your ribs hurt... Then eating even more..... "For me."
Making you have a snack heavy kitchen, pantry, bedroom.... pulling them out nightly while you watch movies or games. Keeping the most fattening things in the house in arms reach ...... Me being all too happy to get up and bring you more....you realizing this keeps going on....realizing you do have the power to stop and gain your control again...but why would you when you can just be ... ... ... eating more..... "for me?" 💝
Normalizing how often you will chug cream and hound down treats just to feel like you're on track for the lifestyle you can't resist at all....One of so much pathetically enabled struggle and self indulgence....you would feel bound by your size if it didn't keep your inner thighs warm, weak, and pulsing with arousal, frustration AND satisfaction.
And it all just adds up, shocking you, making you "worried." I put quotation marks because I'm not fooled. I've had feedees express genuine concern to me, only to find out that nothing ropes you back in more than for me to say:
"you're right. it's out of control. You're so fucking huge and you can't stop getting bigger. I watch you every day, excusing these habits more and more, and your fat packs and piles onto your struggling frame. I love it. Wont you please give me more?"
Wont you give me New stretch marks, more inches between the navel and the end of the indulgent apron your gut demands to be at ALL times?
Won't you tell me about how your balance gets worse because you've become so much more front and bottom heavy?
Wont you give me deeper handles to bury my palms into? More curves to explore? More nights of looking longingly into your eyes and pushing down the next bite even though there's a pained begging for moderation in your gaze ....that we both ignore.
Wont you please get fatter...for me?
....
And just like that, glossed eyes, heavy breathing, flushed cheeks....and you're waddling back to the kitchen to find yourself making more of all of it"....for me."
I mean....it's gotta be for me right? I keep guiding you that way...being so pushy...but there's just one thing....would anybody else have gotten so turned on reading what I've just listed? No no.... you didn't misread..... i'm tapping on the fourth wall here, reader.
In reality....it's nobody's fault but your own. It was your choice and not mine to let it go, and go, and go. I merely enjoyed it. Told you how nice it would be.
You agreed. And you gave in. Oh does that make me an enabler? What could an enabler accomplish with a lack of desire? You wanted this more than any other person in your life.
Admit it.
You did this to yourself.
..........
But you know what?
My encouragement only made you what you already wanted. You can thank me for the support, curse and blame me for your struggles and consequences all you want, you may have told yourself it was all "for me...." But it's you who has to live with it now.
....so.....this will always have been
"....your fault." 🐽
