on a scale of one to ten, who is the most fun to bully over at talon?
❝ Unfortunately, the answer is a very boring one. It's Gabe. ❞
It was the expected answer. It was the obvious one... It was also the most peer-reviewed one. And judging by the amount of 'tabs' she's condensing, just so she has enough 'desktop space' to start opening up folder, after folder, after folder of 'pranks, goofs, gaffs, gags, jokes, jests, and puckish dick moves'? It was thoroughly researched.
❝ Detta was never around. You send her a juicy bit of blackmail, and it would take her three to five business weeks just to send back a vaffanculo. Effort put in to effort given back? Not high at all.
Moira? She's fucking evil. And VERY Obsessive Compulsive. I tried with her a few times, don't get me wrong... Once I moved her favorite two inches left of where she put it, and the very next day I went to see her and she handed me a test tube of my own hair, then thanked me for my contribution to her works. Big Yikes.
Boss-Man? He was fun. He loved a good prank, especially at his own expense! The problem was, he was a big believer in 'getting someone back as good as they got you.' And he ... saves his subtlety for strategy and wartime, let's just leave that one there.
I would never bully Siebren. That old man is being bullied by the fucking Universe, güey, he didn't need me there making things any harder for him.
Amelie is a 'fool me once, I'll kill you' type. I've had to out-translocate her venom mines once or twice, and it's... exciting, don't get me wrong! But it sucks not being able to breathe normally for a week afterward. Plus, she doesn't really sleep. It's hard to scheme on someone who always has at least four eyes open. Not impossible! Just more effort than I like to put in casually.
Viper I REALLY liked bullying! You ever hear the term 'gay panic'? It's the funniest fucking thing to incite in someone, especially when you aren't even trying. Admittedly, I did ease up on her, though... Saw what one of her cocktails did to someone's rib cage once... ¡Carajo!
Mauga's a meathead. Bullying him is like bullying a brick wall with fucking chainguns attached to it. Although I'm pretty sure he still thinks Moira's first name is 'Doctor'. So ... small victories, you take them where you can.
Emre is an industry plant; I don't talk to him unless I have to.
Baptiste was my sweet angel. I never treated him wrong. Unless it was very funny, but he left really early on in my time there, so... Never got a chance to see how he'd have held up over the years.
Which just leaves us with? Gabe. The 'Grim Reaper'... Yeah, whatever. Big fucking soft-ass teddy bear with a growly voice. I bully him all day long, and the most he has for me is an exasperated grumble. And I know what you're thinking! 'Isn't it uncool of you to be bullying a 60-year-old man?? He's got joint problems, and he protested for Harambe.'
Okay, yeah, sure... Have you considered that it's really fucking funny?