#feelspost

[trazioch]

what i wish to be remembered as is the dead wife flashback. think of me giggling in a mood light. of me walking through a beautiful field on a sunny day. of me softly playing with your dog. remember all words of wisdom i gave you in voice that suggested it's a topic light like the weather, even though it's been life changing for you.

even before i'm gone, let me be your dead wife flashback, even though we're neither married nor am i a woman.

[aquar-io]

i love all my followers and i feel obligation to my mutuals, i feel a fondness towards tumblr strangers with unique looking blogs. thank you gay little people in my phone so much for making this media website into a SOCIAL media one.

in my 22 years on this planet i did not understand what anyone was getting out of social media besides mild interest. aaaanyyyywayyyyy

if u wanna chat?

my discord?

wait for it.

aquario!!!!!!

:3

ily all, remember to be kind and love yourself because the world and everyone else will hate you enough.

[superlativesamsara]

Current mood: Enigmatic Bullshit

[shadowsonata]

Trying to shut down the irrational part of my mind that keeps convincing me I was selfish for leaving her and that if I’d really been a decent partner I’d’ve stayed and got a decently paid job and paid for therapy for her and that if I’d done all of that she’d still be alive; even though in that scenario I would’ve missed out on what ended up being some of the happiest times in my life.

It couldn’t have happened like that anyway. It took me two years after graduation to even move out of my parents’ house (where she couldn’t have visited due to my mum’s disapproval) and a further year after that to be earning enough to pay for counselling sessions myself (albeit at a discounted rate). Even if I’d put all my effort into trying to save her I probably wouldn’t have been successful because I’d still have just been muddling along on part-time work that barely paid the rent.

I think I’ll always see it as my fault in some way: if not the timing then the fact I left; if not that, the fact I was too useless to be of any help.

[shadowsonata]

My hope for a hypothetical afterlife is the exact life I’ve already lived, but armed with little hints of knowledge that I’ve gained this time round so that maybe I can make better decisions and then maybe my old naïve teenage fantasy that you can save anyone if only you love them enough will be true in another reality, if not in this one.

The romantic in me likes to imagine that this is where those unexplained, nagging intuitive feelings come from.

[shadowsonata]

Perhaps if I were more normal, all this wishful thinking wouldn’t be so bad.

[totallyacejasongrace]

42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Exactly four years ago, I picked up a broom behind the library, and quidditch became my 42, in a sense. It gave me exercise, it gave me stress release, and, most importantly, it gave me some of my best friends and the most amazing community I’ve ever been a part of. I went from being someone who always felt out of place in every group I was in to a team player, ref, field manager, and now, as of tomorrow, a tournament director. Thank you Robyn, Kym, Ricky, Stew, Casey, for getting me into it. Thank you, quidditch, for being in my life, and here’s to more years. 💕 PC: @alittlepurpleelephant #quidditch #quidversary #feelspost #dftba #fbf #NWF2017

[thatbipolarfeelwhen]

tbfw even fellow bipolar sufferers on tumblr don't realize how serious mania is. it's not a caffeine high/sugar rush/feeling happy. the listed symptoms don't do it justice. it's not sleeping at all for days at a stretch. staying painfully energetic for week/weeks/months. being unintelligible, confusing everyone (including your post-manic self!). waking up in jail, or in the hospital, or in some stranger's house. and having no idea what you did _this_ time :/ that's the scale we're talking about