Embarrassed
I had to do my taxes yesterday. I had put off doing it for a couple of months.
Four years ago I began to freelance. I started my business and hoped for the best. FYI this is not how businesses work. In the following conversations with my tax accountant, I told him I would build an empire. Fast forward to now. I do not have an empire. Past me, would feel shame over this. A deeply held emotion which festers telling me that I am not good enough and hiding away to cope with my failure. But yesterday, I felt embarrassment. An emotion connected to a fleeting nature. It was an 'yeh, about that empire' kind of feeling. By changing the way I connected to doing my taxes, I was able to bring myself out of the dark I put myself in. And a key to this was 'self-compassion'. (Brene Brown's book - Atlas of the Heart - really helped me grasp the emotions I was going to because I felt like I fell short.)
