#felefeels

[evollelak]

I say this all the time but it's really bout time I do something. I need some friends man. Some real friends. I always feel so fucking awkward around people, I feel like I don't know how to be a friend. Plus I suck at communicating. I'm always around my bf, which is ok sometimes, but when he's pissing me of of not around, I'd like someone to talk to.

[evollelak]

I've accepted the fact that I'm just one of those people who have to work a little harder & try a little harder than some. My progress may be slow but I'm not giving up. Not anymore.

[evollelak]

2015 reflections.

I turned 22. I fell in love. Became more open. Stopped caring about others opinions. Stopped moping around. Been less bitter and angry. Gained weight.

In 2016 I hope too:

Follow my dreams. Become more active and healthier. Lose weight. Love more. Become more social. Travel more. Meditate. Focus on positivity. Become more confident.

[evollelak]

Random

When I was little I always told myself that I'd live in California, but the only city I knew of was Sacramento, so for the longest I told myself that's where I'd be. I'm a lot older now and not much has changed. I wanna live in LA, it just seems perfect. I have a strong feeling that I'll live and die in LA.

[evollelak]

I know this is random cause it’s like 8 am est, but meditating has significantly helped to ease my jumbled mind. I’m a lot happier, things get to me less, I can move on from situations with the quickness, everyday I wake up ready to seize the day, it’s so encouraging. I think everyone should try it! I can’t give advice, I can only tell you what works for me.

[evollelak]

so apparently I’ve been in a bad mood for the past couple of days because I won’t let you break me? Because you’re not getting the reaction that you’re used to? Because I’ve decided to pray especially for you? Because I’m not walking around looking sad? The devil really does use other people to get to you but it’s not gone work this time. I’ve got my mind made up and I’m not going back to being depressed and not letting anyone take me there. Anyone. I’m going to continue to pray for strength and patience for me and you plus understanding so you’ll know where your bad karma is coming from. I really pray for divine intervention as well because this needs to be fixed.

[evollelak]

I'm so nervous/excited about my interview today! I pray it goes well & I get the job!!! Wish me luck!

[evollelak]

I'm so awkward, this guy in my class complimented me ("you look nice today") & me with my not knowing how to take a compliment faceass initial reaction was to say "shut up" but in my defense I was kinda in a shitty mood, put 0 effort in my appearance & I was fifteen minutes late plus he's always trying to make me laugh so initially I thought he was being funny but as I replay the scene over and over again in my head I realize that he wasn't laughing at all and when I told him to shut up he just kinda sat there tbh I think this will haunt me for the rest of my life