A/N: I had written this about a month ago, and surprisingly, this is quite relevant during these times so I decided to post it
network: @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn
There are times you wonder to yourself, in the middle of the night as you lay in your bed within the confines of Chaldea. You wonder…if this was all worth it. Is it really worth all this trouble, stress, and blood…to risk your life for humanity?
Risk your life for people that would never thank you, risk your life with no acknowledgement or title given to you. No praise, no closure, no written in history, no love. No…worth to your name.
As you think more, staring up at the ceiling with a running mind. Your hands clutch tightly the sheets around you as your thoughts ran deeper and farther away from you, yet getting louder than ever.
So much so, you didn't notice the door to your room sliding open. You didn't notice footsteps coming towards your bed. You didn't notice a deep voice ranging out through the room. You didn't notice a tail tapping your hand…until you felt the spikes.
Immediately, you shot back. The sheets thrown into the air as you yell out in surprise. You almost fell off the other side of the bed before the same tail wraps itself around your waist. The tail pulls you up from the bed, dangling you in the air above the mattress.
You blink your eyes in shock as they met Alter's, his cold and detached glare piercing into you. His arms cross over his chest, a sort of bored and annoyed look gracing his expressions. It was in this moment you realized just how far your mind ran from your reality.
You grin sheepishly, giving a small wave to Cu Chulainn Alter. "Uh, hey, Alter. What, uh…what are you doing here?" You ask him slowly, trying to make it seem like you didn't just yell a few moments ago.
Cu didn't say anything as he continues suspending you in the air with his tail. It tightens around your waist even more, the spikes lightly poking onto your skin through your night clothes. You couldn't help but be thankful you weren't sleeping naked or this would've been even more embarrassing.
The scowl on Cu's face deepens as he let out a huff. Still suspended in air, you watch as Alter gets in your bed, laying on his back as he looks up at you. A moment passes between the two of you, not talking and instead just looking at each other.
But then, you were descended slowly onto his chest.
His tail unwraps from around your waist, his arms immediately replacing it. Your body melds with Alter's like a complete puzzle piece. His warmth and presence envelops you, quickly dispering the previous thoughts you had from a few moments ago.
You stayed still for a moment, breathing deeply as you take all this in. His quiet comfort. His silent support. It all seems to be enough to make you cry silently. Your emotions, all that you kept inside because you're the Master, all came spilling out.
You wrap your arms tightly around Cu as you sob into his chest. Your chest heaves, your throat hurts, the tears keep coming down your cheeks through it all. And even through all that, Cu still has his arms wrap around you, his presence needed in this very moment.
You noticed how his arms got tighter, you noticed how Cu's breath hitches ever so slightly from your embrace. You noticed how his tail wraps around your ankle almost in protective instinct. You noticed how, for some reason, just his warmth is grounding you completely.
It felt like forever until your sobs subsided. Your tears staining your cheeks, your eyes red, and some snot coming from your nose. Lifting your head slowly, you finally noticed your tears had wetted Alter's chest, causing a light blush to grace your cheeks.
You hiccup softly, locking eyes with Cu with your teary and red ones. His face held the same bored expression, but no longer annoyed or in a scowl. It seems his face had soften a bit throughout your cries.
And his eyes…held a sense of understanding.
You wanted to say something, anything at all. The main thing you wanted to say was 'sorry' but… the word was caught in your throat. You couldn't bring yourself to say it, almost like you were caught in a spell or charm to not say that word. You don't know if it's because of Cu's presence or his silent support. It felt like there was no need to apologize for just expressing.
You sigh softly, burying your head back into his chest, not caring about the wetness of it. Instead of saying 'sorry', you decided to say something else. It was something that didn't hurt, that didn't felt caught in your throat. It was something that was needed to be said.
"Thank you, Cu." You whisper in a rough and quiet voice. Your mouth didn't feel dry after saying those words. Your throat eases ever so slightly afterwards, as if your words caused a domino effect throughout your body. It felt good.
Cu huffs softly, his arms tightening even more around you as if on instinct. "It's nothing." Was all he said, but it was enough to cause a soft grin to grace your lips.
