Resident Evil 4 scribble
Pair : hinted!Krauser/Leon
No matter how much that report looks as detailed as a fucking mosaic, it still doesn't describe half of what I went through in that fucking backwater ditchhole in the ass crack of europe.
If only someone told me what I'd go through that night, I might have... dealt with some situations differently... fuck I don't know, I might have had more time to think about different patterns? different solutions... ?
If only I had just a bit more time to think. Just a fucking breather!
Fuck, I hate it when I don't have time to think things through. See what happens?
If I knew, if I had a single clue, I would have made a beeline to your fucking camp and maybe then, with enough time, we could've... talked things out?
Would you have listened if I came to you? If I sought you out personally and peacefully? Would you have cared? The way you cared for me back in the regiment?
I know why you did it. Why you made me do it.
You wanted me to feel it, too.
The betrayal.
I want to resent you for that. For how you wanted to hurt me like that. But then again, how selfish would I be if I said I didn't want to share your pain.
Well, It's a fucking success. I can't sleep and it's been two weeks. I have the best pills a government shrink can allot and they work - sometimes. Sometimes I feel sick consuming all that shit and only strong booze gives me comfort. And warmth. And it's bad for my health so it's perfect. I need the punishment.
I have… sometimes, in the most deseperate dreams I get, I have hope that I didn't really kill you - you know… for good.
Heh. One can dream, right. You made me do it and like everything you always made me do, I didn't disapoint.
But still. I have those dreams sometimes-when it's not complete nightmares-where somehow you're still alive 'cause I missed your heart by a bit- wouldn't be the first time you'd make me mourn you, you fucking asshole-and-and you'd drag your sorry ass from the brink of death like you once did.
Or someone would find and save you… from my mistakes and the choice you did give me.
Anyone…
I wouldn't mind it if you came back right now knocking at my door with a gun pointed between my eyes, Jack. I'd rather you barge in right fucking now and beat me to a pulp like good ol' times than you choosing to just haunt my fucking dreams.
'Cause I know you. And I know another chance is all you need.
So come on, don't be a coward. Just come. Come beat me up.
P-please… Jack?
Come hurt me physically.
Come punch me.
Come taunt me and cut me.
C-... fuck.
Come back.