Post-epilogue, Harry and Ginny get married, have kids, blah blah blah
Sometime when Albus Severus is like in third or fourth year, Harry and Ginny come to the realization that while they still love each other, it’s more in the “you’re my bestest friend ever” way than in the “let’s go upstairs and traumatize our kids by having really loud sex” way.
They get divorced because they know that if Ginny goes out and gets laid while still being technically married to Harry the Prophet will have a field day. They still live in the same house, just different bedrooms - although one might climb in with the other while sleeping if nothing else is going on, because cuddling is awesome and Harry is a very tactile affection kind of person. (He’s making up for lost time with a vengeance, and he trusts her enough to allow himself the comfort.)
Meanwhile, it turns out that Morfin somehow actually managed to reproduce before being carted off to Azkaban for his nephews crimes, and the Gaunt line isn’t as dead as previously thought. Not that anyone knows that. Anyway, some time after the final battle, Voldemort’s soul managed to piece itself back together, and he was reborn as his own cousin a few generations removed. He doesn’t remember anything, and wonders why the Headmistress always looks at him funny (he’s actually related on both sides, through a bastard line of the Riddles lol, so the resemblance to Tom v.1 is striking. Different eye color though). He gets sorted into Slytherin (naturally) along with Albus and Scorpius the same year. The three become friends, and even though he doesn’t remember anything Tom (Tom something something, same initials but different middle and last names) is a genius, grasping theory and practical aspects of spellwork like he’s been doing it all his life.
He makes Minerva VERY nervous, but Dumbledore’s portrait seems to want to dote on him (look, Albus 1.0 isn’t an idiot, and decided to try positive reinforcement this time around) and his sort of friends keep him from going all the way off the deep end.
Anyway, after the divorce (like fourth year maybe), Albus v2 decides that he wants to bring his friends over for the holiday (especially Tom, who’s in foster care). His parents, seeing no problems, say yes. When they finally get there, well.
Harry and Ginny have miniature heart attacks.
Tom, meanwhile realizes that his friend’s dad is hot and he totally wants that. And immediately starts flirting - badly, because he’s like 14/15 and has never been interested in romance or sex before.
Ginny gets over the shock first and like any helpful ex, immediately starts laughing and egging Tom on, Harry is long-suffering, and Albus is traumatized by one of his best friends hitting on his DAD.
Cue Harry trying for the next four years to convince his kid’s friend that he’s WAY too old for him while trying not to think about him resembling a teenage Voldemort too much, Ginny spending an inordinate amount of time pointing and laughing, and Tom actually asking for relationship/flirting advice from Dumbledore’s portrait and immediately regretting the act.
Meanwhile Minerva is making very good friends with a bottle of firewhisky.
