To those told not to love
Have you ever seen something so miraculous that you suddenly want to copy it onto yourself? Something so beautiful you want to breath it, bleed it. A story that has intertwined itself deep into who and what you are? Have you ever felt fake because of it?
It feels fake-- I feel fake. Like a cheap imitation of something. Everyone says I've become some stupid or crazy fan for trying to blend this idea into my life and it nags at the back of my mind, haunting every moment of joy I derive from making my life better for myself.
I'm sure you feel it too.
Those of us who are so accepting of ideas and stories into our soul, run the risk of vulnerability. We let other's people's words affect us. It's only a matter of time before something sharp and foul worms it's way into the bunch. It hurts a lot too, especially something sharp found when something is supposed to be fluffy. It hurts-- does it hurt for you as well? It hurts a lot more when you accept such cruel thoughts into yourself. Now, those sharp and painful words are within you. Others may say, with their crescent cut, bleach white smiles,
"It'll make you stronger! It builds character! You'll be better because of it!"
But it isn't better. You're wounded, you're hurt. Your skin isn't tougher, its bruised and broken. If you touch the places where their weapons sank into your skin, you may just cut your skin all over again. You're more delicate than when you began.
You only become stronger when you remove the intruding object, and let the wounds heal over. So take a look at the source of that fake feeling within you. Were is it coming from? Who, or what, is the source? Challenge it. Do those words really matter to you, do you need to listen to them? If not then smile, and do the very thing they told you not to do.
You aren't fake for copying things onto your personality. Art is created by the artist mixing things they enjoy into one new creation, so why don't you make yourself into a masterpiece. A beautiful work of art that is always changing and growing, becoming more intricate and beautiful with each new addition.
-- an anime fan inspired by Violet Evergarden.