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Motolove
Cons of no dad: no one is thereto yell at brother for touching the thermostat
“Fifty Nine” by Arch Stanton
Gotta love a band that includes excerpts from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly in their instrumentals.
Happy fifty-ninth birthday, Blixa Bargeld
2.15.16 - 11:24pm
I meant to post way way earlier but got distracted when Hamilton was on the Grammy's sooner than anticipated. Spoiler: they were fucking fantastic and they won Best Musical Soundtrack. Lin rapped the acceptance speech and I definitely cried. Anyway! On to the gay. Kind of. I wanna say something else first: I'm really sorry you felt so poopy again tonight, I know how exhausting and frustrating it is when you think you're over the slump but it turns out the slump isn't over you. But I still promise that this isn't a permanent feeling and you're also not alone at a l l. You have all the space you need, but you haven't been abandoned and you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here, Julia's there, I'm sure Dwayne is there too. Take whatever time and space you need to clear your head etc, just don't forget that you are incredibly loved and valued by a lot of people. No matter how shitty your brain is, your worth does not decrease in the slightest. Please don't forget that. Okay. Now I'll be gay. I need this job to work out, if only solely so I'll have the money to go with you in April and/or visit you this summer. Or sooner! Who knows! Maybe we'll have somewhat compatible holidays and I can say "fuck it" and skip school to visit you. I would literally sell a kidney right this second if it meant I could be with you for even just an hour. I'd shave my eyebrows off. I'd eat nothing but pizza for a month. I'd switch into AP Economics. I'd give up the Disney Princess blanket. I'd stop wearing makeup. I'd delete my blog. I would literally do anything to be able to be with you again. I miss existing with you so much. Like blogging next to each other and sharing memes. I miss you tagging gay things and me kissing you because I can. I miss holding your hand while we watched Netflix. I miss showering your cheek with tiny kisses because it made you smile. (And because I can never not repeat it: YOUR SMILE IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER I'M SO EMOTIONAL) I miss playing the keyboard and having you come up behind me. I miss lying on the floor listening to music. I miss driving with you. I miss wandering up and down Walmart trying to pretend you were going to get something other than Pita chips and Hummus. I miss saying my weird little "thank you" every time you showed me affection. I miss your voice when you're turned on ("can I straddle you?" Fucking Christ, dude). I miss you in a beanie. I miss going to a book store and doing our own things but still knowing you were there and being quietly thrilled. Basically I really fucking miss you, okay. Next time we're together anywhere, here's a list of things I want to do: -make out a lot more -go for several walks rather than just the one o o p s -straddle you this time -start a show of your choice -............matching rings bc I'm gay and sentimental -actually take selfies -even more making out -go on a legit, cringe-worthy, cliche-filled date -wake up before you so I can experience the whole watching the love of your life sleeping thing, goddamn -siiiiiiin -SIIIIIN That's a nice list. It's not even everything, those are just the first few I thought of. I'd continue, but it's almost midnight now and I am a tiny child in need of sleep. But also, good morning my love. I hope you feel at least a little better. And if not, here are some videos to help cheer you up maybe: https://youtu.be/0L9UEvANU6A https://youtu.be/D36JUfE1oYk https://youtu.be/ajX6CGDMvB8 https://youtu.be/s0sa1VeeYI8 It's after midnight now so I'm gonna at least try to sleep. I love love love you more than anything in the entire universe. I'm here if you need literally anything at all. ♡
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