Hello, whoever is out there.
It’s been quite a while, right? I’ve never had time (and wifi) to come online and update this blog, although I’ve really wanted to be an active blogger. Not for an audience (not like I have one) but more for my personal documentation of thought processes and events.
Anywho, I am now typing a post.. which indicates I have time. Free time. Or, Freizeit, as Frau Lina would call it. I am finally on my summer holidays and I have mixed feelings.
Summer holidays are supposed to be fun. If I were to search #summer2k16 on instagram.. I’m bound to find beach photos, pretty sunset shots, colorful ootds and landscapes, and other fun festivities. I am not exactly going out there and having the time of my life as the instagram hashtag portrays it. Instead, I am reminiscing (and of course, also celebrating the holy month of Ramadan).
I keep on going back to the 10th of June, 2016. If you are part of Sampoerna Academy Boarding School a.k.a. SABS, you’d remember this was when the Final Assembly was held.
I’ve only attended two Final Assemblies but at each of them, tears were shed by both teachers/staffs and students. It is an official end of the academic year for students and an official farewell for some teachers who will no longer teach at the school. For us in SABS, saying good-bye is really hard. Almost heart-breaking. We practically are family. That’s the perks of a boarding school, if I might add. The people you meet there, they literally change your lives and open up your perspective. We create stronger bonds and know each other like none before.
At the first Final Assembly, I remember shedding lots of tears. My favorite biology teacher and dorm parent were no longer be part of the school and I was surprised. Out of all the teachers, they were the ones who had to go. Before them went 3 other amazing teachers, and so I thought I was supposed to already be used to the coming and going of teachers, but I was always taken by surprise.
At the second Final Assembly (which I keep going back to), I did not shed one tear nor did I feel any sadness. It was so weird. With this Final Assembly being my last and with 14 teachers calling it quits, it was just extraordinary that I did not feel any sadness. Even the guy behind me was crying and he was the kind of guy who never expressed feelings. I kind of thought that was heartless of me...
Until the holidays started.
I started feeling empty and just depressed all of a sudden. It felt so alien to be at home again, you know? And even that feeling for me was alien. Because I’m 100% sure I love my family and I’ve always missed the freedom of being at home when in school. But I’ve also come to realize.. I’ve become so close and so used to being around my friends that it just feels abnormal doing things alone at home.
Sometimes my hands just betray me and plays the 2015-2016 SABS Journey video in facebook, and it confirms the emptiness in my heart. The video just paralyzes my body and takes my mind down memory lane, lol.
I’ve met some memorable beings in SABS. This might be my Final Assembly but it certainly won’t be my final goodbye. I pray our paths cross one another, InshaAllah. I also hope we all can cherish the given time with our current surroundings and loved ones. Life is a roller-coaster, don’t forget that.
