#finally getting help

[blotted-rambles]

had a panic attack the other day, and as i was coming down from it i said "Wow, the psychologist was right." cuz he validated my emotions so i immediately went into self-doubt and imposters syndrome😭

[indistinct-disquiet]

Just diagnosed with BPD

[leiazher]

I got my autism diagnosis last autumn, and got a referral to a specialist team to help me get some proper coping mechanisms and get some help to navigate the world.

One of the people I get to meet is a physiotherapist.

I've met others, who have told me: "Do this" And not much else. In contrast, I've met with this physio twice, and both times we've just talked. "What do you want out of your training." "What are your goals" "what do you believe you can already do?"

And he showed me their gym with zero expectations that I would even touch the equipment. He went through how it'd work, and we worked together to put up some very tangible goals. Not something as effusive as "Exercise, just do it." But: "Learn the equipment, come here six times, long term goal is to be independent in your exercise, we will re-evaluate when we get there." And he was very clear that goals can be moved around, it doesn't have to take the nine months we've set, it could be more, could be less.

But one of the things that absolutely baffled me is that he will meet me at the gym I've chosen to continue my exercise at when the time comes, to help me learn their equipment, build a training program with me, and make sure I feel safe and secure there before he and I wrap up.

And I just... Guys, I could cry. Someone who knows how difficult things are for me, someone who works to navigate these issues with me, not for me, someone who listens and accepts that things are difficult for me... Didn't think they existed.

He accepted. "Can't do it." as an answer. He just, nodded, said "okay, how about I show you how, and we can go from there?" Not "I will teach you." Not "You can do it." But a ready demonstration where I don't even have to touch the equipment, and he'll let me draw my own conclusions. He said he'd even describe how it felt so I could consider it further.

He just... accepted that, and yet he won't let me completely discard things before he has shown me how they work.

He didn't demand I go there several times per week, though he suggested it, and he accepted that I will only be able to do three visits per month instead of the four he suggested afterwards, and he said that eventually we might be able to increase it, but that there's absolutely no rush to it.

This is both about building up strength and stamina, but also a feeling of security that I can do this, that I won't make a fool of myself, that it's not as scary and dangerous as my brain labels all new things.

I think I can do this. I'm getting the proper reception, the proper accommodations, the proper tools to actually succeed.

I'm getting more help from the team, but this is where I'm just... so fucking happy I sought my diagnosis, because it means I get the help I need, and won't just be thrown at therapist to psychologist to psychiatrist in the hopes that something will stick... I'm getting help. Help I can understand and accept with people who're working with me to find a proper plan for me, and not a generalized "get better" plan with people who don't understand that they need to explain things clearly and be blunt.

It hurts in a kind of good way, that I'm getting help now. It makes me bitter that nothing has worked before because people haven't listened, but it makes me happy that I'm getting it now. Finally, after 17 years, I'm getting help I can understand.

[damandav]

PTSD

So now that I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that I have ptsd and that I'll be seeking treatment, I'm not quite sure what the next step should be.... I haven't told anyone about this really and well it's making my anxiety even worse

[heatheravin]

One week from today I will be taking to my doctor about my anxiety. I have never even mentioned having mental health issues.. This is a huge step for me and I am terrified.

[love-alyoria]

I have been diagnosed with Agoraphobia with Panic disorder. It’s nice to have a name for what takes up most of my life. I’m in the beginning stages of treatment and hopefully one day I can handle everyday situations like a normal human being. 

I should have gotten help for this a long time ago.