LMUS! Prompt - A misinterpretation leads Rumple to think Belle doesnt want the baby.
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Rumplestiltskin could count on one hand the moments in his life when he’d been truly happy. The scent of meat pies after a long day spinning with his aunts, the first time he held Bae, the first time Belle kissed him in the Dark Castle all those years ago, the moment he’d finally earned Neal’s forgiveness on the deck of the Jolly Roger on the ride home from Neverland, the sight of Belle in her wedding dress that chilly night by the well when she’d married him.
And even still, all of those moments had been tinged by sadness. He was with his aunts because his father had abandoned him. The first time he held Baelfire it was with barely the strength to stand after walking miles on a broken foot and with the withering glare of Milah on his back. Belle’s kiss nearly broke his curse and in return he’d broken her heart. He’d only had a matter of hours with his son before he had sacrificed himself to kill Pan, and only fleeting moments with him before he was cradling his boy’s body in the woods. His and Belle’s marriage had been built on a lie from day one.
It seemed, now, he had another one of those moments to add to the scant pile and this one was no less tinged with heartbreak. Nevertheless, his heart felt full to bursting with Belle's news.
“What?” he rasped out. “How?”
Belle’s eyes blinked open, looking up at him incredulously.
“Well, obviously I know how, but how?”
Belle gave a little sniffle, shrugging her shoulders.
“We haven’t exactly been vigilant about protection. These things happen.”
It was such a stupid thing. Contraception might not have been quite the same as in the Enchanted Forest, but he’d lived in Storybrooke for decades now. He had a lifetime of cursed memories telling him how irresponsible unprotected sex was and now here they were, pregnant at the worst possible time. Even so, he couldn't manage to regret their bad decision making. A baby! They were going to have a baby, a perfect child with Belle's eyes and sweet disposition and thirst for knowledge and hopefully as little of him as possible.
He felt rooted to the spot, as though tendrils had suddenly sprouted from the bottoms of his black loafers and burrowed their way into the shiny wooden planks of the pawn shop floor. He couldn’t move if he wanted to. He couldn’t find the words to express the roughly seven million thoughts zipping through his mind. Instead he focused on Belle, her beautiful face, the rest of the room blurring into nothingness around them.
Belle was pregnant. He was going to be a father again.
Belle was watching him warily, waiting for him to say something more but no words were forthcoming.
“Look, don’t freak out on me, okay?” she said, finally pulling her hand from his and stepping away. He’d forgotten for a moment he was even holding it, but now that it was gone he felt bereft without it. “It happened and I’ll handle it.”
That brought Gold up short, the pin prick in the balloon of joy swelling in his chest.
“Handle it,” he repeated numbly.
He knew he had no say in the matter. Belle was the one who’d be forced to carry the child for nine months, the one whose body would alter, the one who would go through the pain of childbirth. And he shouldn’t be surprised that she wouldn’t want his child anyway. She despised him, couldn’t stand to be around him 90 percent of the time. He couldn’t even blame her for that. But after Baelfire, losing another child, even the potential for one, he wasn’t sure he could survive it.
“Yeah,” Belle said with a nod. “Obviously this is just the worst timing possible, but I’ll do what I have to.”
He leaned heavily against the glass display case to his right, using all his power to keep himself upright when his knees so desperately wanted to buckle.
“I don’t suppose I get a say in this at all?” he asked, his voice sounding ragged and harsh to his own ears.
Belle swallowed audibly, looking up at him with a nervous expression.
“That’s why I came by,” she said. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want one.”
“Of course I bloody well want one,” he exclaimed, eyes flashing. “It seems you’ve made up your mind, but I’d like to at least mention that I am thoroughly against this.”
The numbness was fading away, replaced by anger coursing through his veins. Belle had been the one to instigate this twisted relationship between them. She had been the one to keep him with her with pleading eyes and sad words. And now that there were consequences to their actions she was cutting him out completely.
Belle blinked again, her mouth hanging open slightly. A look of hurt crossed her features and she took another step away from him, her arms wrapping around herself. What did she have to be hurt about?
“Oh,” she said sadly with a little shake of her head. “Well I’m sorry, Rumple. I know this has to be hard for you after Baelfire, but I won’t do that. I’d like your support, but I certainly don’t need it. I’ll do this on my own if I must.”
Rumple bit down hard on his tongue to stop the angry words that wanted to spill from his mouth. Words he would never be able to take back.
“Belle, please,” he managed to rasp out instead. “Please don’t.”
Belle looked up at him with tear filled eyes.
“You can’t take this from me Rumple, not after everything else,” she said, her back straight, hands fisting at her sides. “I know the situation isn’t ideal, but I’ve always wanted to be a mother and this could well be my only chance. I won’t throw that away.”
Rumple’s knees nearly buckled again, this time in relief.
“Wh—What?”
Belle wrapped her arms around herself again, as if protecting her still flat belly from the outside world, from him.
“I won’t terminate the pregnancy,” she said, her voice softer.
Rumple’s mouth fell open at the implication.
“You think I want you to terminate the pregnancy?” he asked in disbelief. “How could you ever think that’s what I would want?”
“You just said as much!"
"I did no such thing," he protested. "Why would your mind even go there?"
"Because...you just lost Baelfire,” she said sadly, her voice halting over his son's name as though she were afraid to say it aloud to him. “A year ago last month. I know you’re not ready to be a father again and I know that loss is still so fresh.”
Rumple raked a hand through his hair, pulling at the long strands. It was true he wasn’t ready. He’d never be ready. Baelfire’s death wasn’t something he would ever be over. How did you move past the death of a child? How could you ever feel whole again when half of your heart was in the ground? But he was a father. It’s who he’d been as long as he could remember and he would love the chance to raise another child, to do things properly this time. He had wealth and resources he could never have dreamed of when Bae was born. And he would learn from his mistakes.
“I thought it might bring up emotions you weren’t ready for,” she continued. “We never talked about children so I assumed you didn’t want any. I was prepared to give that part of my life up for you back then, but not now.”
Rumple shook his head, pacing in front of the shop counter as he reflected on Belle's train of thought. He spun on his heel, facing Belle and pointing a finger at her.
“I lost my first child and you actually believe I wouldn’t want another?”
“You never tell me what you want,” she exclaimed.
“I want you!” he shouted back, his hand reaching out for her almost of its own volition before falling back limply to his side. “In that I’ve been perfectly clear.”
Belle turned away, staring off into the distance and blinking the tears away. Rumple ran a hand over his face, taking a deep breath to steady himself. This was not news he had expected today. Everything between them was about to change again, for worse or better he couldn’t be certain. But change it would. It must.
Belle turned back to him after she’d composed herself, her lip only trembling slightly and her eyes dry.
“Why would you think I’d want to get rid of our baby?” she asked in a small voice.
Rumple gave a noncommittal shrug.
“I thought you wouldn’t want to be yoked to me again for the foreseeable future. I’ve had a wife trapped with me by a child before. It did neither of us any favors.”
Belle shook her head, her eyebrows furrowing in disappointment.
“Do we even know each other at all anymore?” she asked, her voice weary. “Did we ever? Between all the separations how much time have we honestly spent together in the past thirty years?”
“Not much,” Rumple conceded. “We’ve certainly been apart more often than not.”
Belle gave a mirthless laugh, closing her eyes for a moment. She let out a long sigh before opening her eyes and leveling Rumple with the full force of her cool, blue stare.
“We can’t go on like this,” she stated. “We’re going to have a baby. That changes things. Even though we’re not together, a child needs stability. We’ll have to sit down and come up with some sort of custody arrangement. I don’t want our child to suffer just because their parents can’t figure things out.”
Belle’s words from a moment before swam to the forefront of his mind. She didn’t need his support. She would do this on her own.
“So I’m to be allowed a place in this child’s life after all?”
It seemed too much to hope for. Belle loved him and hated him, a potent combination. She’d forgiven him but couldn’t stand the sight of him. She’d spent the past few months tearing him apart at every possible opportunity whether she meant to or not. He wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if her motive in coming here today was to tell him to please stay away from her and their child forever.
Belle rounded on him, exasperated.
“I told you I’m pregnant, didn’t I? I didn’t try to hide it. I didn’t skip town with the baby. I didn’t lie. I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m not cruel.”
“Yes you are,” he said petulantly.
Belle’s glare soon turned to a roll of her eyes, a look so reminiscent of one she’d often given him in the Dark Castle, back when he’d say wicked things just to shock her, that it almost took his breath away.
“I was always drawn in by your light,” he continued, stepping closer to her. “But there’s a sliver of darkness in you also, sweetheart. You’d never have fallen in love with a beast without it.”
“You’re not a…” Belle trailed off, her knee jerk reaction any time he called himself a beast spilling from her tongue unbidden. Of course she knew the truth now. He was a beast and he’d clawed out her heart one too many times.
“You’re not a beast,” she finished a little more firmly and Rumple looked up at her in surprise. “You’re not. You’re just a man, flawed as anyone else. It doesn’t make you a monster.”
He nodded, not trusting himself to say anything in return. Belle loved him. Belle had forgiven him. Belle didn’t think he was a monster. Still they were apart. It hit him fully then that there was nothing he could do. There was no animosity between them, not truly any longer. It had burned away and they were sniping at each other more out of habit than real anger. They were just two people who couldn’t make it work, no different than any other divorced couple. The fact they were still married was just a technicality. It wasn’t about earning forgiveness, or proving he could hold back the darkness. It was just over.
That knowledge hurt more than all of Belle’s anger over the past six months combined.
“How far along are you?” he asked hoarsely, getting back to the heart of the matter.
“Eight weeks,” she said. “I have an appointment with Dr. Whale on Thursday. Would you like to come?”
Rumple screwed up his nose. “Whale? Isn’t there anyone else?”
Belle rolled her eyes again. “He flirted with me one time, Rumple.”
“It’s not that,” he said, exasperatedly. “I just know him well enough to not want him to deliver our child.
“Well he’s the only OB in town since Dr. Li went back to the Enchanted Forest,” she pointed out. “Unless you want to take up midwifery yourself, he’s our only option.”
Rumple thought about it for a moment. Anything had to be better than Frankenstein. But Belle could see the wheels turning in his mind.
“You’re not delivering this baby, Rumple!” she exclaimed. “That was a joke. I don’t want you down there…for that.”
Rumple didn’t miss the implication that he might still be welcome down there for other things, but he let it slide.
“There has to be a midwife somewhere in this town,” he protested.
Belle threw her hands up.
“Do you want to come or not?”
“Yes,” he said quickly. “Yes, I would like that. Thank you.”
“Okay,” she said. “10:30 on Thursday morning. Try not to be late.”
“I’ll be there.”
Belle sighed, rubbing her hands together a little nervously. She cleared her throat, giving him a little nod.
“This, um, went a little better than I expected it to.”
“We’re having a baby,” he said with a shrug, the happy bubble in his chest expanding at the words in spite of everything. “We can try to be civil to each other.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, sucking in her bottom lip before releasing it with a pop. His eyes flicked down to her lips and Belle’s breath hitched. He could kiss her, right now. He imagined she would let him. Maybe she’d even let him pull her into the back of the shop and lay her down across the rickety cot they hadn’t used since she was Lacey.
His eyes flicked back up to meet hers, dark and shining.
“I’ll see you on Thursday,” he said, his voice cutting through the tension. He didn’t think he imagined the way Belle’s shoulders sagged slightly.
“Yeah,” she said again. “I’ll see you then.”
She turned to leave, her pink coat swinging around her hips, chestnut curls bouncing against her back. She glanced back over her shoulder when she reached the door, giving him a small smile and a wave before she headed back out into the chilly spring morning.
Rumple let out a long, low breath once she was gone, his shop seeming somehow dimmer in her absence.
