facebook giving me the feels
my best friend from elementary school, from kindergarten - 4th grade (i moved after 4th), added me on facebook yesterday. turns out her father just died last week, and she was looking through old pictures for his wake and came across a bunch of us together and was thinking of me.
for some reason this has like really stirred up a lot of emotion in me.
first - she has 3 little boys. i can hardly believe that life took her in that direction. she seems really devoted to them and she had 3 younger siblings so i’m sure she’s used to having a big family and stuff, but it’s just crazy to me that she’s in this place now and i am like...about to get my first big girl apartment and take that leap. we’re really grown ups. (comparatively my other childhood best friend is kind of a hot mess).
i remember sitting talking to her on our house phones, and she said “when we’re 30 and have kids we’ll still be best friends and talk on the phone.” i think of this often but especially after last night. we’re kind of...almost at that point in our lives, and we’re definitely not best friends any more, which makes me sad. but the fact that she thought of me and found me on the internet...there’s something kind of beautiful about it. i remember listening and dancing to the first *nsync record in her living room. i remember my mom driving us home from girl scouts and us talking about harry potter. and now we’re living completely different, separate lives, on separate paths, but still...somehow found one another after all this time.
second - i hate that we’re coming to the age where parents are dying and we’re expected to be adults and handle it. like, i know a few people whose parents passed, and it’s always a shock because for the most part, those parents are still on the young side. but now we’re old enough that we have to make arrangements. make decisions. i like have no idea how to get the electricity turned on in a new apartment and have to ask my dad stuff like that constantly, let alone all the dumb crap i ask my mom on a regular basis...imagining them not being around is so hard. and the idea that we’re at the age that these things happen and we have to deal is just frightening.
third - when we were little, her younger brother (second oldest) was such a sweet wild child. he always wanted to play dress up with us and wear sparkly dresses. always wanted to play house with us. he would always sing so joyfully along with us. and now he’s an out gay man, with long gorgeous blonde hair. it makes perfect sense for him. i’m glad he gets to live out that truth. not that like...wearing a dress and singing loudly at school mass makes you gay but it just...feels like he was always this way and i’m glad he gets to live that out as an adult and not hide it or feel ashamed for it.
life is wild. i’m glad she added me. i’m glad she thought of me even for a few minutes.
