Persons of interest have been located.
bladeofthepeople
thearticulatea
firstmonkeyshotintospace
genius-with-the-cake
successorwhosurvived
Or at least, of potential interest. There's still time for them to prove themselves to be completely useless, after all. "Alright, sunshines, here's how it's going to go. If you in any way, shape or form think you could at any point during this conversation attempt to try to tell me how disagreeable my hobbies are or what a terrible person I am, you're going to head right back out of the door you came through."
"However, if you're here to kill or threaten me, you have half an hour to get my attention before I remove you from my line of sight or snap your neck. If neither of these apply to you, if in fact you are simply here to be interesting, to be someone who isn't that obsessed with justice and the safety of people that it makes me sick, then you can stick around."
"Your choice. What's it going to be?"